Heads up: This is a spicy one today. Diana Park chronicles how, at the age of 50, she squirted — yes, squirted — for the first time. Imagine her surprise when that happened at 50. It’s a hilarious piece; consider it something to lighten your load this Wednesday.

Want a drink sans hangover? Join us at Scary Mommy Sips, a drinks club powered by Buzz by Boisson. Think non-alcoholic wines, spirits, and buzzy beverages that deliver on flavor and/or buzz. Sign up at the link below and use code SCARYMOMMY for 15% off the first delivery.