PIRATE TV

Donald Trump’s anti-narco killing spree in the Caribbean is getting so out of hand, even top Republicans in Congress are pushing back.

• Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s ultra-macho posturing has long been so over-the-top, he has at times resembled a cartoon version of himself. Little wonder then, that this former weekend talk show host — who rebranded the “War Department” and publicly fat-shamed his own commanders — mocked concerns that he may have fomented war crimes with missile strikes against alleged drug runners in the Caribbean by posting a ridiculous cartoon image of Franklin the Turtle, firing a rocket launcher at drug boats.

• Congress isn’t laughing. Instead, the series of deadly strikes, which have killed over 80 people, is driving anxiety on Capitol Hill, including among Republicans who have so far stood by passively as President Donald Trump pushed authoritarian boundaries. This weekend, news broke that Hegseth gave a chilling spoken command: “The order was to kill everybody,” one source told the Washington Post.

• The first Caribbean strike, back in early September, left two survivors clinging to the wreckage, according to the Post. Soon after, the operation’s commander ordered a second strike, and “the two men were blown apart in the water,” the outlet writes.

• Even Trump himself seemed taken aback by the horrifying image, denying that Hegseth gave the command, and insisting, “I wouldn’t have wanted that. Not a second strike.” The White House then acknowledged that Admiral Frank M. “Mitch” Bradly ordered the second strike, but pushed back on the report that Hegseth told U.S. troops to “kill everybody.”

• Such a command from Hegseth, if he made it, could rise to the level of war crime, according to Democratic lawmakers. Several Republicans voiced similar concerns. “Obviously if that occurred, that would be very serious, and I agree that would be an illegal act,” Rep. Mike Turner (R-OH) told CBS News.

• Rep. Don Bacon (R-NE) was more blunt. “I’m very suspicious that [Hegseth] would have done something like that, because it would go against common sense,” he told ABC News. “If it was as the article said, that is a violation of the law of war. When people want to surrender, you don’t kill them.”

Both Democrats and Republicans are pressing for answers.

• The leaders of two key congressional committees are asking the Pentagon for more information on the strikes, in a rare example of bipartisanship to confirm whether Hegseth acted inappropriately or not.

• “This will definitely be something Democrats are going to focus on, because of the implications that the secretary of defense gave the green light for an illegal act,” a Senate Democratic aide texted What A Day. “The fact that *Republicans* themselves have questions about this, and even Trump isn’t defending it yet, tell us that we are on the right track.”

• Trump’s own former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer warned that lawmakers will continue to demand that the Pentagon release classified videos of the strike, which he insisted could set a “bad precedent.”

• “I think there will be more calls for the videos, this is going to become the new thing,” Spicer said on a podcast this morning. “It’s like Epstein, where everyone thinks they want to hear the real tape, and in the end, is it a good thing?” Well, I dunno, Sean, are we talking about a tape that shows someone committing a war crime? If so, then a lot of folks would call that kind of accountability a good thing.

Another ironic twist: Trump promised to pardon former Honduran President Juan Orlando Hernandez, who was convicted of taking part in a scheme to bring more than 500 tons of cocaine into the U.S. over two decades. So, does he care about drug trafficking or not?

WHAT ELSE?

The Pentagon is rolling out the welcome mat for its new Looney Tunes-esque right-wing press corps this week, after kicking out every traditional outlet. From Monday to Wednesday, MAGA influencers including Laura Loomer and Tim Pool, are invited to mingle with officials, join an in-person briefing, and attend a meet-and-greet with Pete Hegseth. I mean, Supreme Warlord Pete Hegseth. My bad!

Investigators are filling in the backstory behind Rahmanullah Lakanwal’s alleged shooting of two National Guard troops in Washington, D.C. last week. The recent death of his commander saddened Lakanwal, while he struggled with securing a job and feeding his five children, according to ABC News.

Trump commuted the sentence of David Gentile, a private equity executive convicted of fraud in a scheme that cost thousands of victims $1.6 billion. Gentile had served less than two weeks of his seven-year sentence when the president stepped in. How much damage did this guy cause? As one victim told prosecutors: “I lost my whole life savings… I am living from check to check.” Not that Trump has any idea what that means!

UnitedHealthcare shooting suspect Luigi Mangione appeared in court today, where his lawyers argued that two key pieces of evidence should be tossed: A 9 mm handgun, and a notebook in which Mangione allegedly wrote about his intent to “wack” an executive. Another weird fact: A correctional officer testified that the superintendent told him the prison “did not want an Epstein-style situation” with Mangione, referring to the late child sex predator’s suicide. Huh?

Donald Trump pledged to release the results of his recent MRI test… which, he claimed, definitely didn’t scan his brain. “It was just an MRI,” Trump told reporters. “What part of the body? It wasn’t the brain because I took a cognitive test and I aced it.” I mean… okay. That test Trump likes to brag about involves identifying cartoon pictures of animals. Don’t take it from me: Greg, my editor, attempted the test back when he worked for VICE News days. It’s a great watch.

Trump ally Rep. Troy Niehls (R-KY) said he plans to retire next year to focus on his family. Translation: Morale on Capitol Hill is so low among Republicans that some lawmakers are looking for a way out. “It’s no longer an exaggeration to say that House Republicans could lose their majority during this Congress,” Punchbowl News writes. “Whether Republicans agree or not, their majority is slipping away.”

Sen. Cory Booker (D-DE) got married over the weekend to a woman he met on a blind date last year. Booker’s major life update is fueling speculation that he wants to run for president again; it’s incredibly rare for a commander-in-chief to be unmarried.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu requested a pardon for himself amid longstanding corruption charges over the weekend — in a move that appears torn from Trump’s playbook. “If Mr. Netanyahu’s petition works, he escapes criminal liability,” the New York Times writes, paraphrasing an Israeli professor. “If it does not, and his trial proceeds, he has a new issue to run on in next year’s election: the supposed witch hunt against him.”

“Rage bait” is the Oxford Dictionary’s word of the year. I’m fuming.

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE EMAIL…

An appeals court disqualified former Trump personal lawyer Alina Habba from serving as New Jersey’s top federal prosecutor. The decision likely marks the end of a drawn-out saga in which Trump’s team repeatedly attempted to keep Habba installed, even though her interim appointment expired and she hasn’t been confirmed by the Senate.

A new type of glasses lens approved by the FDA would help preserve the eyesight of nearsighted children. The potential benefits could include staving off cataracts, glaucoma and even retinal detachment, according to experts.

Disney’s “Zootopia 2” was a hit over Thanksgiving break, raking in $156 million in the U.S. and a record-breaking $400 million internationally.

Scientists at a startup are experimenting with methane-eating microscopic pink organisms, which may be able to mitigate the effect of cow farts and burps on the warming climate. “From a climate perspective, zero percent of the methane is being captured currently, so any reduction at all is still a net benefit,” Josh Silverman, who founded the company, told the Washington Post. “The fact that we could achieve such a high conversion with a cheap, small-scale, farm-viable approach fills a niche that has been historically a very tough area to crack.”

More than 400 people finished the inaugural Taco Bell 50k in Virginia and Washington, D.C. on Saturday. Participants, myself included, had to eat at nine Taco Bell locations across more than 32 miles. The best part was running through random parking lots with a bunch of strangers, some dressed in taco costumes, as normal people give you funny looks. Let’s get a What A Day crew to run it next year, what do ya say?