| John,
I'm LOSING! If I don't catch up quickly, everyone in America will have to list their pronouns and believe that men can breastfeed.
I'll cut straight to the chase – I reviewed my campaign's finance report this morning and saw that I'm BEHIND on my End-of-Month fundraising goal by $5,639…
I almost spit out my coffee. That Yankee up North is on our tail like a dog chasing a squirrel through the backyard. If I don't catch up and hit my EOM goal, the Looney Tune Left will have enough momentum to DESTROY everything we've worked so hard to get.
There are only a select few people I can fully trust in situations like this, and your name is at the top of my list.
You'd make me happier than a pup on a walk if you'd chip in $10 before midnight.
You'd make me happier than a penguin in an ice chest if you'd chip in $25 before midnight.
You'd make me happier than a tick on a fat dog if you'd chip in $50 before midnight.
I'm counting on you to save my November fundraising and keep Chuck and the Looney Left at bay.
Thank you,
Senator Kennedy
Senator Kennedy has always been a straight shooter, standing up for the common-sense values that make Louisiana proud.
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