HOLDING OUT FOR A ZERO

Elon Musk is stepping back into politics — just when Donald Trump needs him.

• Everyone likes a summer fireworks display, especially when the explosion in the sky happens to be the short-lived political career of the richest man on Earth. And that was the spectacle we all witnessed last summer, when absurdly rich tech weirdo Elon Musk’s haphazard attempt to break the federal government ended in a wild fireball of self-destruction.

• For a while, Musk had been everywhere, calling all the shots. But suddenly, he was crashing out, accusing President Donald Trump of being in the Epstein files (fact check: true), attacking Trump’s top legislative priority as “utterly insane,” and threatening to launch his own third party. Political soothsayers had predicted the accursed Musk-Trump bromance would end like this. But you know what they say about assuming!

• Just like that, Musk popped up back in Washington D.C. A freshly coiffed, tuxedoed Musk reappeared at a glitzy White House dinner last night, working the room alongside everyone from the Saudi crown prince to soccer sar Cristiano Ronaldo. His reappearing act comes at a convenient time for MAGA. Trump appears to be losing his iron grip over his staunchest allies, desperately fighting to keep the Epstein files under lock and key… and now seems to be in real danger of losing control of the House next year. But that last threat may be one Musk can help with.

• What’s Trump’s midterm trouble? Trump’s master plan to rig the system appears, for now, to have totally backfired. The White House’s efforts to pressure red states to redistrict — to create more GOP seats and keep control of the House — were blown to smithereens yesterday, when a panel of judges in Texas ruled that the Lone Star State can’t use its newly gerrymandered maps. (Texas has already appealed to the Supreme Court, which could overturn the decision. But that outcome is far from certain.)

• Meanwhile, California is poised to redraw its maps to gain at least five Democratic seats, and the whole debacle propelled Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-CA), a likely 2028 presidential contender, into national stardom. Democrats are looking at the best shot at securing control of Congress that they’ve had in eight years, according to a poll. Great plan, Trump!

Trump seems to think boatloads of money could solve his problems. And that’s what Musk can deliver.

• Musk spent almost $300 million to help elect Trump last year. He later spent millions more on a futile effort to influence other elections. He’s likely to make more contributions in next year’s midterms, according to the New York Times. Unlike earlier this year, Musk’s checkbook truly knows no bounds: He’s on track to become the world’s first trillionaire, thanks to a deal with Tesla shareholders.

• Trump is going full-throttle with a scheme of his own. Even before starting his second term, Trump began raising as much money as he could to stuff his own personal political coffers. That’s extremely unusual for a lame duck president, but his intentions soon became public: He plans to use some of the money — reportedly approaching $2 billion — to boost MAGA candidates across the country.

• Another buzzy effort by Trump seems less likely to pan out: The White House wants to stuff $2,000 checks in Americans’ pockets ahead of the midterms, the president announced earlier this week. Affordability is one of voters’ top issues, and this looks like an attempt by the Trump administration to win over voters who are experiencing higher grocery prices as a direct result of his policies. Congress would need to approve the checks. As CNN writes: “The math doesn’t math,” and “the votes may not be there.”

Can the former “First Buddy” buy his title back? I have a feeling we’ll know sooner rather than later.

WHAT ELSE?

A federal judge took Trump admin prosecutors to the woodshed today over their controversial case against former FBI Director James Comey, in a hearing described by the New York Times as “excruciatingly awkward.” Lindsey Halligan, Trump’s hand-picked U.S. Attorney, admitted she never showed the final version of Comey’s indictment to the full grand jury before it was signed. “The spectacle, which played out over nearly 90 minutes of tense courtroom colloquy, drove home just how slapdash the prosecution of Mr. Comey appeared to have been from its inception,” the Times writes. The judge “could now have more reasons to throw out the charges.”

A Capitol rioter pardoned by Donald Trump was recently accused of sex crimes against two children, The Intercept reports. According to a police report, the man, Andrew Johnson, floated the idea of giving one of the victims money from a supposed $10 million that he claimed to be entitled to as part of his January 6 arrest. Johnson, who pleaded not guilty, allegedly intended to prevent the child from “exposing what Andrew had done,” police believe. Care to comment, Mr. President?

More than 600 Americans were fired, suspended, or faced other disciplinary actions at work after making public comments about right-wing influencer Charlie Kirk’s assassination, according to a Reuters investigation. There are “very disturbing parallels” to the 1950s anti-Communist purge, University of Iowa History Professor Landon Storrs told the outlet.

Trump’s attacks on climate science could lead to the release of extra greenhouse gases over the next decade — causing the death of 1.3 million people from temperature-related causes worldwide within a century, according to a ProPublica and Guardian analysis. Countries that would be most affected, primarily in South Asia and Africa, “emitted relatively little of the pollution that causes climate change — and are least prepared to cope with the increasing heat,” the outlets report.

The Trump administration is drafting a new plan to end Russia’s war in Ukraine, Axios reports. Special envoy Steve Witkoff is reportedly crafting the deal and has discussed it with top Russian officials. “We feel the Russian position is really being heard,” Russian envoy Kirill Dmitriev told the outlet. After the story’s publication, Wikoff tweeted what seemed intended to be a private message: “He must have gotten this from K,” he wrote, likely referring to Dmitriev. Only the brightest!

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE EMAIL…

Did you miss our big, cool, very fun conference in Washington D.C., Crooked Con? This writeup in Slate provides a superb rundown of events: “If we are to believe the party has grown too blinkered and conflict-averse — allergic to its own inherent fringes and eccentricities — then Crooked Con serves as a kind of shock therapy.”

Donald Trump’s media and crypto company’s stock price has plummeted, incinerating $5 billion worth of his family’s wealth. Bitcoin is trading at a seven-month low, so this is a good time to remind you: Crypto is highly volatile. Buyer beware!

The House will vote on repealing a provision that would allow GOP senators to sue for $500,000 over a Biden-era probe involving their phone records. The measure, spearheaded by Majority Leader John Thune, was so unpopular even among Republican lawmakers lashed out. “It is beside my comprehension that this got put in the bill, and it’s why people have such a low opinion of this town,” Rep. Chip Roy (R-TX) told CBS News.

Gov. JB Pritzker (D-IL) gifted Pope Leo a six-pack of local beers named “Da Pope.” In response, Leo said: “We’ll put these in the fridge.” I didn’t know I could like this guy even more.

Today is World Toilet Day! The bizarrely named observance aims to raise awareness of the estimated 3.4 million people who don’t have access to clean sanitation, and some 300 million people who don’t have access to private bathrooms. As for the day’s namesake: “It walks the line between not being offensive and being fun,” UNICEF sanitation chief Ann Thomas told NPR.

Tennis legend Roger Federer was elected to the Tennis National Hall of Fame today, the first time he was eligible for the honor. As the Associated Press put it: “Well, this will come as no surprise to anyone who’s paid any attention over the past quarter-century.”

Curaçao officially became the smallest country to earn a spot in the World Cup. The autonomous territory has only 156,000 residents, nearly 200,000 less than Iceland, which previously held the record. I don’t care if their chances are low, I am putting all my money on them right now. (Y’know, figuratively — I don’t bet on sports.) Go Curaçao!

Engineers are tapping into an active Oregon volcano, which will be used to generate geothermal power for homes nearby as soon as next year. Less than 1 percent of electricity worldwide is produced by geothermal energy, but experts believe it could be an effective way to drive down costs via clean energy.

Farmers thought of an ingenious way to offset falling dairy prices: Charge people to cuddle the cows. “It’s a bit like a cow’s spa day, really,” one farmer told the Washington Post. “They just sprawl out while people are stroking them and cuddling them.”