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If The Babylon Bee published this headline —“Judge Rules Mom Is TOO Christian to Be a Parent” —you’d laugh, shake your head, and say, “Alright, Bee… take it down a notch.”
Because satire isn’t supposed to be so outrageous that it looks written by a toddler.
Satire, in its purist form, is meant to push reality’s edge just far enough for the truth to slam the head like a hammer — and maybe add a good laugh in the process.
But here’s the problem:
It’s getting hard to tell the difference between satire and news anymore.
Something has shifted in America when the most outrageous, excessive, over-the-top Babylon Bee headline suddenly becomes… the actual story.
And that’s exactly what happened in Maine.
A judge actually ruled that a mother is fit to be a parent, except she’s Christian.
Yes. That sentence is real.
And we’ve officially entered the era where parody has been overtaken by raw lunacy.
What do you even do with a statement like that?
Frame it?
Or ship it straight to The Babylon Bee so they can ask, “Why are you stealing our material?”
I’ll tell you what it does:
It collapses the wall between satire and reality.
Because this judge didn’t just attack Christianity.
He went full scorched earth.
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Here’s the background:
The mother in this case, Emily, is raising her daughter, Ava, normally — school, home, church, friends — with zero accusations of harm or instability.
The father, Matt, however, hates Christianity, hates the Calvary Chapel church she attends, and hates the idea of his daughter being baptized.
So, he found the perfect ideological cocktail:
Find an activist judge + a Marxist professor flown in from California to declare Calvary Chapel a “cult.”
And from there, the judge dropped a ruling that looks less like family law and more like the script of a bad dystopian comic book.
The Court Order Reads Like a Satirical Checklist — Except It’s Real
Here’s what the girl, Ava, was banned from doing:
No attending her church.
No associating with church friends.
No Christmas.
No Easter.
No weddings or funerals if they involve Christianity.
No hospital visits from her church friends.
No Bible.
No religious literature.
No volunteering with Christian charities — including Salvation Army.
This is not a joke headline. It’s not a joke court case. And it’s not a Babylon Bee article.
This is an American court order issued by an American judge, in the year of our Lord 2025, in a country with a First Amendment.
America’s judiciary should say, “This judge shouldn’t have a robe, shouldn’t have a gavel, and shouldn’t be anywhere near another judge — or a courtroom.”
And if you’re the attorneys defending the mother in this case — as Liberty Counsel was — you’ve got to be looking at this case and thinking:
“This will be a slam-dunk win. Open-and-shut. No jury needed. Just hand us the trophy.”
Court Rulings are Starting to Read Like Comic Strips
But, not so fast. We’re living in a moment where cultural insanity is moving faster than comedians can mock it.
For years, Christians joked that anti-faith hatred would one day ban Christmas as “trauma-inducing” or label the Bible a “psychological harm.”
Now a judge has done exactly that — in writing — and the father is arguing that the state should have the power to purge his daughter of Christianity if that faith can possibly cause “anxiety.”
My goodness.
If a single moment captures the spiritual crisis of our nation, it’s this:
We’re living in a time when parody looks sane and the real world looks fictional.
Why This Case Matters to Every Christian Family
Here’s the terrifying legal precedent being tested in Maine:
Can a judge violate your constitutional rights if your faith makes someone “uncomfortable”?
If the answer is yes:
You can lose your child for taking them to church.
You can be declared an “unfit” parent for believing Scripture.
Your parenting decisions can be overridden if your faith is labeled “psychological risk.”
This is not just a Maine problem.
This is a national warning flare.
Whatever happens in this ruling will echo through courtrooms across America.
And what began sounding like parody will end as policy.
The Only Difference Between the Maine Court and the Babylon Bee
At this point, the only difference between The Babylon Bee and the Maine trial court is this:
The Bee is still trying to be funny.
The courts aren’t.
The Bee writes jokes.
The courts write orders.
And right now, the orders are more absurd than the jokes.
We’ve entered the era where satire is no longer prophetic. Reality has overtaken it.
And This Is Why the Church Must Speak Up
This case is a signpost — a loud, blaring trumpet — that the country is crossing a line we were never meant to cross:
If one judge can ban a child from her faith, then another judge can ban your child from yours.
And if the courts don’t stop this now, America will wake up one day and discover that the First Amendment is simply a museum exhibit.
We’ve reached the moment when the absurd becomes the authoritarian.
This Maine courtroom isn’t an outlier.
It’s a preview.
If one judge can outlaw a child’s baptism, ban her from church, and erase Christmas because “Christianity causes anxiety,” then tomorrow another judge will do it to your daughter, your son, your grandkids.
The First Amendment isn’t dying of old age.
It’s being murdered in broad daylight by black-robed activists who think the Bible is child abuse.
Silence now is surrender. Scream. Share. Pray like hell is real—because it is.
And stand with the warriors who are fighting this insanity in courtrooms across America.
Emily and Ava need you.
The Church needs you.
The Republic needs you.
Because if we lose this case, the next headline won’t be satire.
It’ll be your family’s name.
Rise up—before the gavel falls on all of us.
Martin Mawyer is the President of Christian Action Network, host of the “Shout Out Patriots” podcast, and author of When Evil Stops Hiding [ [link removed] ].
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