11/11/2025
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St. Peter Getting Tired of Answering Questions About The Nephilim
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PEARLY GATES — Heavenly sources confirmed that Saint Peter had grown weary
running the front desk of Heaven due to the number of questions he continually
received about the Nephilim. “Wow, is this Heaven? Cool! So anyway, what are
the Nephilim? Were they giants?” one newly deceased man was heard asking,
prompting an eye roll […]
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Olympics Change Trans Policies After Watching Old ‘Mister Rogers’ Episode
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LAUSANNE — The International Olympic Committee (IOC) formally revoked the
right of transgender athletes to participate in sporting events of the gender
they identify with after watching an old episode of Mister Rogers’
Neighborhood. “This is totally new information for us,” said IOC President
Kirsty Coventry. “I learned recently that boys are boys from the […]
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Banks Now Requiring Your Grandkids To Co-Sign Your 50-Year Mortgage
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U.S. — Banks across the United States announced today that they would now
require an applicant’s grandkids to co-sign on a 50-year mortgage “just in
case.” “You never know what might happen if you’re signing a 50-year mortgage
and you’re 55 years old,” National Banking Association Spokesperson Craig
Jensen told the media. “We’re going to […]
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Schumer Attacked Over CR Vote to Reopen Government
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AP ImagesChuck Schumer The big loser in the fight to reopen the federal
government was U.S. Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer of New York, despite
his voting “no” on a continuing resolution to do so. “Progressive” leaders are
furious and want Schumer replaced because eight Democrats defected and helped
Republicans pass the bill. On […]
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Freshman At Bible College Getting Worried As He Still Hasn’t Found A Wife Yet
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PENSACOLA, FL — As the end of his first semester at the local Bible college
loomed ever nearer, freshman Jed Clines started to worry about his prospects of
ever winning a wife. According to Clines, the 226 other students at North
Florida Independent Bible College had each now found godly spouses in the first
3 […]
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