Folks,

I’m sweating like a harlot in church.

My team just gave me an update on our fundraising for the month, and we’re further behind than a toupee in a hurricane.

How much do I need to raise by midnight to catch up?

$5,875

So I’m coming straight to you, my favorite Red-White-and-Blue lovin’ pal, for help.

You’d make me happier than a mosquito at a nudist colony if you’d chip in $5 before midnight.

RUSH $5

You’d make me happier than a dog with two tails if you’d chip in $15 before midnight.

RUSH $15

You’d make me happier than a squirrel in a nut factory if you’d chip in $25 before midnight.

RUSH $25

Anything you can spare will help immensely. And if you can’t spare anything, I’d appreciate it if you could forward this email to three friends.

God Bless,

Senator John Kennedy

Folks, not long ago, common sense was illegal in all of Washington, D.C. Now, it's just illegal between liberals' ears. Help me restore common sense!

Chip in $35 today to ensure that we give our future generations a fighting chance.

Paid for by John Kennedy for Us

John Kennedy for Us
P.O. Box 80418
Baton Rouge, LA 70808
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