BLING KING ABROAD

Donald Trump is reveling in the royal treatment abroad while millions of Americans brace for food assistance cutbacks and healthcare stickershock.

• The last time President Donald Trump presided over a historically-long government shutdown, he made at least a show of taking the whole thing seriously. He canceled a major trip abroad, invited Democrats to the White House, and reassured the nation that his team was working tirelessly to help hurting Americans. That Christmas Eve, he tweeted: “I am all alone (poor me) in the White House waiting for the Democrats to come back and make a deal.”

• What a difference seven years makes. Trump’s officially in his DGAF era, and done pretending. Days before federal food assistance benefits are set to expire, threatening tens of millions of America’s poorest with hunger, Trump is enjoying a week-long gold-plated trip to Asia, where he’s being fêted and dined and showered with gifts. House Republicans haven’t set foot in Washington, D.C. for weeks. This government shutdown is on track to become the longest in history, costing up to $14 billion and putting millions of Americans’ livelihoods at risk. Health insurance costs for many are set to skyrocket next year, as Republicans refuse to renew subsidies.

• What has America’s leader been up to this week? Today, South Korean President Lee Jae Myung gifted Trump a replica gold crown paired with the country’s highest decoration, known as the “Grand Order of Mugunghwa.” A South Korean military band greeted Trump’s plane with a rendition of his favorite song, “YMCA”, and fired guns in the air. You gotta see it to believe it.

• The pomp and circumstance didn’t end there. The leaders dined together, feasting from a menu that included “mini beef patties with ketchup” and Thousand Island Dressing, which was a nod to Trump’s “success story in his hometown of New York,” according to Lee’s office. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

• Trump is working “night and day on behalf of American people,” White House spokesperson Abigail Jackson told What A Day in a statement. “President Trump will never stop delivering. Our position has not changed, we are happy to have policy conversations with the Democrats once they reopen the government and stop holding Americans hostage.”

While Trump lives it up abroad, his minions continue sowing havoc back home.

• ICE deported an Alabama father of two to Laos this week, despite a court order blocking his removal, according to the man’s attorneys. The man, who was born in Thailand, was granted permanent U.S. residence before his first birthday, court filings show. “ICE just ignored a federal court order and tore yet another family apart,” Alanah Odoms, executive director for the ACLU of Louisiana, said in a statement.

• The White House yesterday fired all six members of an arts commission that would review Trump’s construction projects. So, I wouldn’t expect too much pushback on that ridiculously expensive ballroom replacing the East Wing… or the “Arc de Trump” across from the Lincoln Memorial. Rulers love their monuments! I have a feeling he’s gonna copy the 130-foot tall stainless steel Genghis Khan statue next.

• Trump officials urged the U.S. Navy to use live bombs instead of dummies for Trump’s recent appearance at the service’s 250th anniversary event — because Trump “needed to see explosions.” It’s another example of how Trump is bending the military to his will, in both big *cough* carrying out extrajudicial airstrikes in Latin American waters *cough* and small ways.

All hail King Trump. My, how his new golden crown shines.

IRONS IN THE CEASEFIRE

The ceasefire in Gaza… isn’t going well.

Israel’s military killed 105 Palestinians in airstrikes last night, including 46 children and 20 women, according to local health officials. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanuahu greenlit the attacks after accusing Hamas of not returning the remains of Israeli hostages as soon as possible, a key part of the ceasefire deal.

After the deadly strikes, Israel announced that it would resume the ceasefire.

But Hamas signaled that the peace is fragile. Hamas called for foreign mediators to pressure Israel to comply with the ceasefire. What’s more, Israel’s attacks “will hinder the search, excavation, and recovery of the bodies, which will lead to a delay in the occupation’s recovery of the bodies of its dead,” the group added.

Trump’s team is still trying to project success — even though 211 Palestinians have reportedly been killed since the deal was struck earlier this month.

“The ceasefire is holding,” Vice President JD Vance insisted yesterday. “That doesn’t mean that there aren’t going to be little skirmishes.”

WHAT ELSE?

Senate Republicans will block a Democrat-led bill that would keep federal food aid flowing under the SNAP program — used by 42 million Americans — past its November 1 expiration date, according to Senate Majority Leader John Thune. If the Senate starts “going down the road of … take care of this group or that group,” Thune explained, “It just begs the larger question, how long is this going to drag on?”

Donald Trump suggested that he knows he can’t run for president again: “I don’t even want to talk about that, because the sad thing is I have the highest numbers I ever had,” he told reporters (straight-up lying about those poll numbers). “If you read it, it’s pretty clear: I’m not allowed to run. It’s too bad. But we have a lot of great people.”

The Department of Justice suspended two prosecutors after referring to the January 6 insurrection as a “riot” carried out by a “mob” in a court document. What were they supposed to call it? That perfect day when the HEROIC champions of DEMOCRACY saved our country with a peaceful picnic at the Capitol? C’mon guys. Trump lied about winning an election that he lost, and people died in a deadly riot that followed. Get real.

The Federal Reserve cut interest rates again today by a quarter percentage point in an attempt to stop the nation’s job market from deteriorating further, despite an economic data blackout due to the shutdown.

The U.S. government has helped U.S. tech firms sell surveillance systems to China for decades — even while warning about the national security and human rights concerns associated with such technology, the Associated Press reports. “This reluctance to act reflects the tremendous wealth and power of the tech industry, which is more visible than ever under the Trump administration,” the AP writes.

Taxpayer dollars are sometimes used in weird ways. For instance, Sen. Roger Marshall’s (R-KS) chief of staff expensed $44,000 for commuting from his home in Virginia to Washington, D.C. over the past two years, according to Politico. Normally, top aides live in D.C. or their boss’s home state. Not this guy, who is “separately on track to earn more than $220,000 in salary this year,” the outlet writes.

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE EMAIL…

A federal judge indefinitely extended her order preventing Trump officials from firing federal workers en masse during the shutdown. The DOJ’s argument against the decision was… something. “The American people selected someone known above all else for his eloquence in communicating to employees that, ‘You’re fired!’” said DOJ attorney Michael Velchik, referencing Trump’s old show, “The Apprentice.” Well, Mr. Velchik, speaking as an American taxpayer, there are just two words I’d like to communicate to you….

The Senate narrowly voted to end Donald Trump’s emergency order against Brazil, which he used to impose 50 percent tariffs on Brazil. Basically, Trump made up a fake emergency because he was mad about a legal case against former Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro — who was convicted of trying to overturn his country’s elections. It’s a largely symbolic vote, but some GOP lawmakers were actually willing to stand up against Trump. Shocking!

Republican politicians in several states aren’t budging in their opposition to Trump’s nationwide redistricting push. “If they want to threaten me with something, I don’t know what it’d be,” Kansas Republican Rep. Mark Schreiber, one of the holdouts in his state, told Politico. “I’m fine with the stance I’m at.”

Glamour named Ms. Rachel, the iconic children’s show host, as its Woman of the Year for her unrelenting activism. She received lots of backlash earlier this year for highlighting children impacted by Israel’s strikes in Gaza: “I have to just remind myself that kids’ lives are more important than my reputation,” she told the magazine.

Messages in bottles written by two Australian soldiers, who were on a voyage to France during World War I, washed up on the continent’s shores this week. “Having a real good time, food is real good so far, with the exception of one meal which we buried at sea,” one of the soldiers wrote, directing whoever found it to deliver the note to his mother. The ship was “heaving and rolling, but we are as happy as Larry,” an old Australian saying.

In other Aussie news, students at nine high schools across the country were exempted from a statewide exam, because their teachers taught about Roman ruler Augustus Caesar instead of his predecessor, Julius Caesar. Pop quiz: Which one invented the salad?