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A Memo on Care for New Parents, Caregivers, Those Managing Mental Health, and Others Needing "Time Away"
(If this message isn’t for you, perhaps you know someone who needs it.)
In the last month, three pregnant people reached out and said some version of:
“I’m so excited to be a new parent and to take time with my newborn. But if there’s anything I can do to help the movement, please don’t hesitate to call me.”
I love that impulse — the fierce devotion to stay connected. Yes, the situation is dire. And yet in dire moments, it can feel like a luxury to tend to what is tender: a newborn, a recovering body, an anxious heart.
But here’s what’s true: No one else on this earth can give your newborn — or yourself — the singular love and attention that you can. That is not selfish. It’s sacred work.
This isn’t “take care of yourself so you can get back to the movement.” This is the movement.
Because the movement is about growing the world’s supply of love — and you are doing that right now, with every diaper, every meal prepared, every quiet moment of self-kindness.
If you’re really worried about missing out, find a trusted friend to keep you looped in — someone who can send a note when there’s a boycott or a moment that fits your bandwidth. But please, lean into what the authoritarians of the world fear most: our capacity for love, steadiness, and joy.
They thrive on frenzy, on disconnection and doom scrolling. So choose instead to:
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Focus on what’s alive right in front of you — your family, your body, your beloveds.
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Step away from the noise that feeds despair.
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Cultivate love, in every form it takes.
There can be more joy than sacrifice in this work. I’m learning that again myself.
As a kid, I wanted to be Batman. I wanted to stop the supervillain from their evil deeds and have cool gadgets. I’m now getting to live my childhood dream: fighting perhaps the most dangerous person and their henchmen the planet has ever seen. And I ride an e-bike. So I'm truly living out my dream!
This reframing of Joy changes my relationship to the work. Joy is a practice. Not a destination. Maybe you’ll find it in your child’s breath. In the quiet of recovery. In small acts of learning what it takes for you to keep your head above water.
Whatever shape it takes for you, know this:
Raising kids with empathy in an empathy-deficit world is radical.
Tending to bodies, worn down by exploitative bosses and malicious marketing, is revolutionary.
Protecting our minds beset by a culture that profits from panic is defiance.
So, if this helps at all: I bless your pause. I honor your care. I support you to fully unhook from the rapid-response cycle, and to devote yourself to your newborn, your partner, your health — to love itself.
With great love — and yes, joy,
Daniel Hunter, Choose Democracy
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