| John,
Christmas is right around the corner, and AOC has already sent Santa her Looney Christmas list.
And uh oh – Santa checked it twice, and it turns out she's not too nice. She's on his NAUGHTY list this Holiday season.
You know me – Santa and I are tighter than a new pair of red Christmas boots. So I called in a favor with the big man and got her Christmas list of demands to reopen the government.
And it's way naughtier than I thought it would be… Dear Santa,
It's Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez here. Since I got coal for Christmas last year, I wanted to send you my Christmas list early. And if I don't get what I want, I'm keeping the Government SHUTDOWN!
- A brand new shiny sickle and hammer
- Tax the rich (except me and my Socialist Comrades)
- An All-Access Pass to the women's bathroom for every transgender in America
- $24.6 MILLION to "climate resilience" in Honduras
- $3.9 MILLION to "LGBTQI+ democracy grants" in the Balkans
- $2 MILLION to "organizing for feminist democratic principles" in Africa
- $833 THOUSAND for transgender people in Nepal
- $3.6 MILLION for "pastry cookie classes and dance focus groups for male prostitutes" in Haiti
- $3 MILLION for "circumcisions and vasectomies" in Zambia
Santa, I know you're busy this season. So I just want the American taxpayers to pay for my Christmas list.
But remember - I'm keeping the Government shutdown until I get my presents this year!
Love,
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
|
Folks, I'm only half joking here. These spending demands are REAL!
Before I tell Santa to feed her Christmas list to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, I need to get your thoughts.
Should Republicans cave into her demands to reopen the government? Or should we continue holding strong until the wacky Democrats come to their senses?
You'd make me happier than a penguin in an ice chest if you'd take two minutes to respond before midnight.
Thank you,
John Kennedy
Folks, not long ago, common sense was illegal in all of Washington, D.C. Now, it's just illegal between liberals' ears. Help me restore common sense!
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