DONALD DUMP

How can we tell that No Kings, one of the biggest protests in U.S. history, got under Trump’s skin? Just look at his preposterously juvenile response.

• Let’s start with the good news for once. To those of you who hit up one of the 2,700 No Kings protests around the country: Congratulations. Turnout reached roughly 7 million people, according to organizers — an absolutely eye-popping figure. As one report concluded: “It was, by any fair measure, one of the largest and most successful one-day domestic protests in modern American history.”

• No wonder President Donald Trump’s reaction was unhinged, even by his usual wack-a-doo standards. Trump had attempted to downplay this event in advance, saying, “I hear very few people are going to be there.” Faced with images of millions of Americans gathered for the sole purpose of hating everything about him, Trump’s fragile ego caved in — and he let the whole world know what he really thinks about democracy and peaceful protest: He wiped his ass with it.

• Trump posted a fake video of himself wearing a crown, buzzing around in a jetplane named “King Trump,” and dumping metric tons of excrement on protestors in cities, while “Danger Zone” played in the background. He followed that up with a meme about remaining in power until Year 90000. Together, the posts raise the question of whether we should be more concerned about the fate of democracy… or whether a parasitic worm is making a meal of the president’s brain, after HHS Secretary RFK Jr. made it cool.

• While President Donald Trump turbocharges the trolling of his enemies, the government shutdown barrels toward its third week. He has decimated any remaining centigram of goodwill with Democrats and doesn’t seem to care, judging by the continued posts depicting Rep. Hakeem Jeffires and Sen. Chuck Schumer wearing sombreros.

• This is, of course, hardly the only example of Trump’s nuclear-charged trolling of America. When a reporter asked the White House who chose Hungary as the location for Trump and Russian dictator Vladimir Putin’s upcoming meeting, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt replied: “Your mom.”

• The childish trolling is a sign of Trump’s increasingly boldness — or instability — while trying to take over all three branches of government… which is exactly why the “King Trump” jokes don’t actually feel like jokes. Trump knows he’s bleeding support from the public, who don’t want the military in cities and are feeling the impact of inflation. His team is repeatedly getting slapped down in court, too. But MAGA won’t stop pretending like they’re winning.

• “The president uses social media to make a point,” House Speaker Mike Johnson told reporters today, when asked about Trump’s feces video. “You can argue he’s probably the most effective person who’s ever used social media for that. He is using satire to make a point.” Johnson’s not wrong about this last part. The thing is, Trump’s point was: I shit on my enemies and their right to protest.

Democrats think they’re winning the messaging war when Trump goes low.

• You might see Schumer drop an F-bomb here or there. But Democratic lawmakers generally don’t think it’s smart to respond to Trump’s juvenile attacks with vulgar language or imagery, according to an aide who works on messaging for House Democrats.

• “They will do all this batshit stuff,” the aide told What A Day. “But if Democrats have a very clear, concise message over and over and over again and a very specific demand in this fight or in this moment, then it makes that all look ridiculous … I really think that this actually alienates [Trump] more than anything else.”

• That’s the strategy among Democrats during the shutdown: Keep hammering Republicans on healthcare and the Epstein files debacle, and don’t get distracted by the president’s rage-inducing social media posts.

• “The fact of the matter is, they’re not persuading people,” the aide added. “I do think that Democrats have to be comfortable to try new things … It doesn’t mean that we have to go low or spread lies. It doesn’t mean that we have to be wrong. We have to do what’s right.”

Somehow, Trump’s approval rating is still higher than it was at this point during his first term. But I can’t imagine that posting disgusting AI slop every day is going to help with that.

WHAT ELSE?

Israel launched a wave of deadly strikes over the weekend that killed at least 45 Palestinians, according to local health authorities, in what Israel called a response to attacks that killed two of its soldiers (although Hamas denied involvement). Israel said it would resume enforcing the ceasefire late Sunday, and allow aid deliveries to resume on Monday. But the fighting shows just how fragile the ceasefire remains.

Donald Trump reversed himself yet again on the likely outcome of Russia’s war in Ukraine, this time warning Ukraine will probably lose. “They could still win it. I don’t think they will,” he told reporters while meeting with Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese. “Anything can happen. You know, war is a very strange thing. A lot of bad things happen, a lot of good things happen.” What good things might those be, Mr. President? And why do you always talk like you’re auditioning for a walk-on part in “The Godfather”?

The Trump administration began tearing down the East Wing of the White House today to build Trump’s 90,000-square-foot ballroom. “It won’t interfere with the current building. It won’t be. It’ll be near it but not touching it — and pays total respect to the existing building, which I’m the biggest fan of,” Trump said in July. Uhhh… judging by the massive excavator reaching into a second floor window, I think they’re touching it.

White House budget director Russ Vought is viewed by some in the Trump administration as the shadow president, wielding unprecedented power as he dismantles the federal government, according to a ProPublica investigation. The story is full of wild quotes, including the part about how he views federal workers as “villains,” and his belief that the U.S. is “meant to be a Christian nation.”

House Speaker Mike Johnson defended Trump’s commutation of former Rep. George Santos (R-NY), who was imprisoned for fraud and identity theft earlier this year. “We believe in redemption,” Johnson said, two years after expelling Santos from Congress. I thought the point is we can’t believe a single thing this guy says!

The Coast Guard bought two private jets, worth $172 million, for DHS Secretary Kristi Noem and top agency officials. DHS claims that the snazzy planes are needed for “safety,” while the manufacturer boasts about the jets having the “most spacious cabin in the industry.” I wonder if she’ll take one of those planes on a “safety” vacation to the Bahamas this winter?

Light at the End of the Email…

Late night host Jimmy Kimmel posted dozens of hilarious nicknames for protestors to use against Donald Trump over the weekend. My favorites include “Blob the Builder,” “Napoleon Bonaspur,” and “Hungry Hungry Hyprocrite.”

Stealing isn’t cool… but who can resist the intrigue of a modern-day heist? French authorities are still looking for thieves who stole thousands of diamonds and other jewels from the famed Louvre museum before fleeing on motorcycles — in broad daylight. The crime took place Sunday morning and only lasted seven minutes. I can’t wait for the Netflix documentary about this.

Meanwhile, the internet is having a field day with that Louvre heist. Some are wondering why the Muppets have been so quiet lately. Others point out the daytime-hours robbery shows that French thieves have a better work-life balance than Americans do.

Gov. JB Pritzker’s (D-IL) reputation for being a cardshark in Las Vegas is coming to light, after news that he won more than $1 million playing blackjack last year. “He’s a whale in Vegas,” a businessperson who has known the governor for years told Politico. Another put it this way: “He is a very thoughtful player … He has a very good understanding of the game’s nuances. He is really comfortable around a poker table. He’s always one of the better players at these tournaments.”

Scientists successfully helped older patients regain eyesight by using a wireless chip implanted in the back of the eye, paired with high tech glasses. “All previous attempts to provide vision with prosthetic devices resulted in basically light sensitivity, not really form vision,” said Daniel Palanker, the study’s co-author, who first imagined such a solution two decades ago. “The device we imagined in 2005 now works in patients remarkably well.”

About 60,000 infants have avoided peanut allergies since 2015, when a landmark study found that feeding babies peanuts at an early age can help prevent the allergies. Wow, it’s almost like listening to scientific experts can make people safer. Someone tell RFK Jr. please!!!!