Edward "Big Balls" Coristine—a 19-year-old patriot who traded his DOGE badge for a life of quiet heroism—was savagely beaten by a mob of teenagers during an attempted carjacking in August.
Yet Judge Kendra D. Briggs, a Biden appointee presiding over juvenile court, handed down sentences lighter than a summer breeze: probation for the two charged assailants, no jail time, and a pathetic nod to "rehabilitation" over retribution.
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This isn't justice; it's an invitation for anarchy, emboldening predators while the other eight cowards who pummeled Coristine roam free, unprosecuted and unrepentant. DC's streets, already a war zone of unchecked violence, just got a green light for more brutality.
Edward Coristine and his girlfriend were attacked by about a dozen teenagers attempting a carjacking. Coristine pushed his girlfriend into their car for safety and turned to face the wolves, buying precious seconds for her escape. The mob descended like hyenas—pummeling him with fists, slamming him against the car, stomping his head into the pavement until blood pooled around his broken body. Officers arrived just in time to scatter the pack, but not before Coristine suffered a shattered nose, severe concussion, deep lacerations, and bruises that left him shirtless and slumped on the sidewalk, gasping for air. His actions likely saved his girlfriend from severe harm, yet the DC justice system responded with indifference.
Briggs's ruling is a gut-punch to decency, condemning victims while coddling criminals with what amounts to an ice cream social as punishment. The teens—a 15-year-old boy and girl from Maryland—pled guilty to simple assault after more serious charges like attempted robbery evaporated in plea deals. They got 21 months of probation, community service, electronic monitoring, and a curfew, with orders to avoid DC except for school or family. No bars, no accountability—just a stern lecture on their "trauma."
"The goal of juvenile court is rehabilitation, not punishment," she declared during sentencing, adding to the girl, "I know you are not unfamiliar with trauma... that's kind of how you ended up on U Street that day."
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Trauma? Spare us. These aren't misunderstood kids; they're violent opportunists who targeted innocents for sport. Briggs' soft touch—echoing her prior complaints about "unbearable" 78-degree detention cells "mitigated" by Gatorade and ice cream—sends a chilling message: Beat a hero bloody, and walk away with a wrist-slap. Meanwhile, the other eight fugitives? Vanished into the ether, free to strike again, as DC's Carjacking Task Force twiddles thumbs.
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Enough. It's time to flood DC Mayor Muriel Bowser's office and city officials with a thunderous demand for real justice—for ‘Big Balls’ Coristine, for every woman walking those mean streets, for a capital reclaiming its soul. Trump federalized DC law enforcement after this outrage, deploying Guard troops to stem the tide of Soros-backed leniency. But local hacks like Briggs undermine it all.
Call for her removal, indict the eight at-large beasts, and try juveniles as adults when they act like monsters. DC isn't a playground for predators; it's the heart of our republic. Let predators fear the streets, not heroes like Coristine. Justice now—or history will judge us cowards.
