Netflix and the unbearable victimhood of MAGA

So you probably haven’t heard, but MAGA (with a bigoted assist from Elon Musk) is all up in arms over “wokeness” at Netflix, and right-wingers have even launched a boycott.

The streaming service’s crime? Some old kids shows that dared feature transgender characters.

Musk, the world’s richest man who publicly disowned his own transgender daughter, has tweeted about Netflix several times. One rant whined that “Netflix is deliberately choosing to pay people to create sexualized content for children” while another decried a “transgender woke agenda” and demanded that people “Cancel Netflix for the health of your kids.”

Damn. I had two kids who grew up watching Netflix, and neither one ended up trans.

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Conservatives love to talk about parental responsibility, but it’s nowhere to be found here. If the presence of a trans character on screen is so horrifying, parents can just … not let their kids watch. Instead, MAGA world goes straight to the grievance machine, whipping up boycotts, inventing rumors (no, Netflix hasn’t hired Stephen Colbert, though that would be fantastic), and crying about co-founder Reed Hastings donating to Democrats.

And then, to justify their hysteria, they spread memes like this:

So let’s put these claims to the test. Here are the actual top 10 movies streaming on Netflix worldwide right now—judge for yourself how much “woke social engineering” you can really find.

“KPop Demon Hunters”: This animated show depicts a K-pop girl band kicking ass against demons. These women definitely have “the balls,” which apparently offends conservatives. Also, the animation is fantastic, and the music is devilishly catchy. I hated that I liked it. This movie is a global sensation. Woke.
 

“Ruth & Boaz”: “A talented singer leaves the Atlanta music scene and starts over in small-town Tennessee, where she finds love and new purpose but can't escape the past.” Black leads, with at least one white villain. Cue MAGA meltdown.

“The Wrong Paris”: “Dawn thinks she's joining a dating show in Paris, France, only to land in Paris, Texas. She has an exit plan — until sparks fly with the cowboy bachelor.” White woman falls for a white male cowboy in Texas, complete with country music. Totally MAGA-friendly—except there’s one Black supporting character, so verdict: woke.

“Man on Fire”: “Hired to guard a young girl in Mexico City, a retired CIA operative with a dark past will stop at nothing to rescue her from a kidnapping ring.” Denzel Washington. Beloved global star. Villains are Mexican, trying to kidnap white girl. Should be MAGA-approved, but nope—Black heroes are woke.

“Sonic the Hedgehog 3”: “High-speed heroes Sonic, Tails and Knuckles barrel into chaos when Shadow, a supercharged rival, sets a plan in motion that could destroy the planet.” So cartoon critters save the world. Human sidekick is white, villain is an (actual) alien, and apparently illegal. No sexualized kids in sight. Probably safe?

“Seventh Son”: “In the 18th century, apprentice exorcist Tom Ward is the linchpin in a battle between good and evil when imprisoned witch Mother Malkin escapes.” White dude exorcist fights demons. The villain is a white witch who probably loves yoga and supports reproductive freedom. I think we’re good here. 

“San Andreas”: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson saves people from an earthquake. On the plus side, MAGA would likely cheer seeing Los Angeles crumble. But he’s half Black, half Samoan, so this is woke.

“28 Years Later”: Zombie apocalypse. Mostly white cast, but they’re being eaten alive. Jury’s out.

“The Curse of La Llorona”: This one draws from Latin American folklore. The details vary by country, but the tale usually centers on a woman who, in grief and rage after being abandoned, drowns her children. Realizing the horror of what she’s done, she drowns herself too, becoming a ghost cursed to wander the earth searching for her lost children and luring unsuspecting men to their deaths. So we’ve got a Mexican woman as the villain of a horror story—something you’d think would line up with MAGA’s cultural anxieties. But nope. It’s not AMERICA FUCK YEAH, so woke.

“Aka Charlie Sheen”: “Actor Charlie Sheen tells his story in this candid two-part documentary tracing his dazzling Hollywood rise, tabloid-topping fall and road to recovery.” White guy talks about himself = MAGA safe space.

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So the final scorecard: Out of 10, we have one white villain (with at least four white protagonists), two Black heroes, zero gay “voice of reason,” a K-pop girl band with balls and one dead woman who literally cuts them off, zero moms as breadwinners (but at least four damsels in distress), zero idiot dads, and no sexualized kids.

Either Netflix is slacking on its “transgender woke agenda,” or MAGA world is just hysterical over nothing.

Netflix is in the business of making money. With over 300 million global subscribers, it seems to be doing just fine. And if the hugely successful streaming service is indeed woke, it means the world is too.

Best of luck with your little boycott, MAGA.

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