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Kash Patel was supposed to be Trump’s fixer. Instead, Tuesday’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearing turned into a full-blown dumpster fire of the FBI Director’s scorched credibility. From bungling the Charlie Kirk assassination investigation to lying about Epstein, this man’s career is collapsing faster than his C-SPAN composure.
And by the look of him, he’s more surprised about it than we are. Time to log in.
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Kash Patel probably woke up Tuesday morning thinking it was just another day at the office. Instead, he got torn a new one by U.S. senators over three things:
His reckless social media posts about the Kirk assassination.
His politically motivated firings inside the FBI.
His dodgeball routine on the Epstein files.
The man was sweating so hard you’d think he’d just finished a marathon. And in some ways, he did: a marathon for who can fuck up the FBI the fastest. At one point, he lost it at Adam Schiff calling him a “political buffoon” and “the biggest fraud to ever sit in the United States Senate.” Then he looked John Kennedy dead in the eye and claimed there was no evidence Jeffrey Epstein trafficked women to anyone besides himself. Um, we’ve all read the public parts of the files, Kash. Have YOU?
Even Republicans had to step in. Sen. Thom Tillis basically had to babysit him on live TV: “Don’t take the bait … just sit down.” Read: You’re embarrassing us. Calm down and let the grown ups handle this.
The Kirk Debacle
Most of the hearing focused on Patel’s botched response to Charlie Kirk’s assassination. Within hours of the shooting, he bragged on social media that a “subject” was in custody and then had to backtrack this because…oops…wrong guy. Yet he insisted this wasn’t a mistake, it was “transparency.” Bro, what is transparent about broadcasting misinformation across the continental US?
Sen. Dick Durbin let him know he didn’t buy it declaring that Patel “violated one of the basics of effective law enforcement: At critical stages of an investigation, shut up and let the professionals do their job.”
But Kash never shuts up and that’s his problem.
The Epstein Spin
If the Kirk mess wasn’t bad enough, the Epstein portion was a total meltdown. Patel tried to pin the “original sin” of Epstein’s sweetheart deal on Alex Acosta, while claiming his hands were tied by protective orders. Convenient.
When pressed about Ghislaine Maxwell’s cushy transfer to a minimum-security prison after a long DOJ interview, Patel refused to answer. Also convenient.
The Pattern
His MO is now clear: Overpromise. Miscommunicate. Blame someone else. Repeat.
He’s not the fixer, he’s the mess. And yet, somehow, GOP senators still thanked him for keeping his “composure.” Which is rich, considering he spent half the hearing red-faced, glassy-eyed, and yelling at top volume.
Kash Patel’s Senate hearing wasn’t just bad, it was a career funeral. He looked incompetent, dishonest, and completely out of his depth. The Kirk fiasco, the Epstein lies, the screaming match with Schiff—it all exposed a man who was supposed to be the administration’s protector but turned out to be its liability.
His credibility is collapsing. His career is burning. And frankly…Let it burn, baby.
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