| It’s that time of the political season when everyone is yelling about the impending “FEC deadline” which, if we’re honest, is really just a quarterly closing of the books for accounting purposes. But hey, it would appear that artificial urgency works in fundraising, so with that in mind let us ALERT you to the fact that we’ve established a completely arbitrary but totally real DEADLINE for the first round of spiffy, customized IXNAY membership cards. And with just FOUR MONTHS LEFT to beat Donald Trump, the time to act is NOW!
If you’re getting this email, chances are you’ve helped us keep this organization afloat over the past two years either via a cash donation, or by buying some of our cathartic merch. If that’s the case, rest assured, we already consider you an important “member” of the IXNAY family, and you’ll be among the first to receive our spiffy new membership cards in the mail in early July. If you’ve yet to make a donation, or if you simply want to double down on your support, this is a great time to do it! You see, we’re launching a membership drive, but it's not one of those where we interrupt the classical music for 10 or 15 minutes of blah blah blah–we’re here with an exclusive offer to make you be a card-carrying member of IXNAY, a group that's subversive but not yet outlawed by the Trump administration.
And because this is our Initial Membership Offer, for as little as $10, we'll send you a spiffy IXNAY membership card good for impressing fellow travelers and caging discounts anywhere independent thinkers can be coerced.
Our core political belief–that chaos is as important as order–offers a flexibility of thinking unapproached by rival political action committees, or even most secret societies. So while we might not be the Masters of Atlantis, with your help, we could become the largest anti-Trump membership organization in America.
So what are you waiting for? Get the Voter ID card your parents warned you about and let us IXNAY your troubles away! |
