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As you all know, I come from MAGA. I left the MAGA cult seven years ago. I’m a reformed MAGA gangbanger. But because I come from that world, I still engage with MAGA every day. I do it because I want to try to help free others from the MAGA cult. I helped bring folks into MAGA, so it’s my responsibility to make up for that, and I refuse to simply write off 30 percent or so of the American voting population. I don’t think the country can afford to just write these folks off.
Every single day, I engage with literally hundreds of Trump diehards. Most of the engagement is frustrating, difficult, and depressing, but I always learn something, and, yes, every now and then, I’m able to help them see the light and escape the cult they’re in. Periodically, I’ll relate what happened during one of these discussions—good, bad, or ugly—so we can all gain understanding that might help you in your own interactions with MAGA friends and family members.
His name is Ted. When it comes to MAGA cultists, he’s right on the fringe of that line. He’s always considered himself a principled conservative. He’ll try to call out Trump when Trump does something egregious, but he’s utterly blinded by a complete hatred of the left. So he proudly stands with MAGA. He’s also a former long-time supporter of mine.
He texted me the other day (I’m one of the very few public figures who literally gave out my cell number to almost anyone) and asked me why I’m so damn critical of Trump meeting with Vladimir Putin in Alaska. I could tell he was asking because he was genuinely curious, and he was a little unsettled by the Alaska summit as well. And I could tell that even though he jumped down my throat and accused me of having so-called Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS).
So I responded with a question—what did he think of Trump meeting with Putin? He was uncomfortable answering. He hemmed and he hawed, but I respectfully but firmly kept asking him that question. I find the best approach with MAGA is to be tough, firm, but always respectful.
Ted finally broke down and said he found it disgusting that Trump treated Putin so warmly—rolled out the red carpet for him, laughed with him like they were best friends—compared to how Trump treats Volodymyr Zelensky, especially that meeting in the Oval Office, in which Trump, JD Vance, and others browbeat Zelensky.
He couldn’t understand this. Putin is our enemy, yet Trump treats him like our best buddy, while Zelensky is our friend and ally, and Trump treats him like our enemy? Ted was confused by this and didn’t like it.
So I continued to press him as to why Trump did this, and he struggled to go to the obvious conclusion: Trump is on Putin’s side and not Zelensky’s. He wouldn’t—couldn’t—say that, but he did say he was disappointed in how Trump treated Putin. And when I pushed too hard and gave Ted the obvious conclusion, he lashed out again at me for being blinded by my hatred for Trump and joining the “evil” side of the left, and so on and so on.
I listened, firmly pushed back, and then thanked Ted for having the dialogue with me. More importantly, I thanked him for publicly criticizing the way Trump treated Putin and Zelensky. Because by even doing that, Ted has caught great flak from his MAGA world. He thanked me, said he was still disappointed in me for becoming a Democrat, but said he no longer believes I sold out. He just thinks I’m super wrong.
I found great progress in this call with Ted, a solid MAGA. He’s curious, so I pursued his curiosity. And even though he’s glad Trump met with Putin, he doesn’t like that Trump was nice to him. I thanked him for taking that step and encouraged him to keep honest about it and be open to criticizing Trump even further. I know I gave him plenty to think about.
Now I could have just yelled at Ted and told him, Wake the fuck up! There’s no way Trump should meet with Putin! The meeting itself was a mistake because he legitimized Putin, and he did it because he actually works for Putin! Come on, Ted, wake the fuck up!
But if I would have gone that route, the conversation would have been over in two seconds. Ted would have been pushed even further into MAGA world, and he’d never listen to anything I said again.
Instead, I listened, saw an opening, and thanked him for publicly criticizing Trump’s treatment of Putin and Zelensky. Now there is an opening for further dialogue, and there is the potential for Ted to move even further away from Trump.
“Baby steps, Bob, baby steps.”
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