Perimenopause comes with a ton of annoying symptoms, but as Katie McPherson discovered when talking to experts, none are quite as unexpected as “oxygen hunger.” She spoke with experts to discover why being short of breath or feeling like you can’t take a deep enough breath could be caused by perimenopause, how to handle it, and when to reach out to a doctor for help.

“Being the DBP has forced me to encounter many horrors: Watching as my 4-year-old licked an airport bathroom floor while I was mid-stream (silver lining? She didn’t die),” writes Laura Onstot in this unspoken burden of parenthood. “Navigating the awkward moment when my daughter clogged the toilet at a friend's house and they didn’t have a plunger. Not a single one. Not wanting to embarrass my daughter, I took credit for the dump and sat awkwardly while the husband went to buy a plunger. The time my daughter locked herself into a stall and couldn’t figure out how to unlock the door. I considered smashing my face into the dirty grout to squeeze in. Thankfully, I had the brilliant idea to take a video from a different stall and pass my phone under so she could watch it.

When I think about being DBP, I feel a significant amount of rage.”