BY MATT BERG & CROOKED MEDIA |
|
|
|
I am horrified and appalled by Donald Trump’s One Big Beautiful Ballroom.”
|
|
|
|
Alan Dershowitz’s dust-ups on Martha’s Vineyard are the stuff of legend. What A Day obtained the police report from the crotchety lawyer’s dispute this week with a pierogi vendor… and it has some hilarious new details.
- Alan Dershowitz, 86, is best known for his work on behalf of President Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. But this week, he picked another legal tangle: Against a vendor of Polish dumplings, known as pierogies, who refused to serve him at the West Tisbury Farmers’ Market in Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts. Dershowitz slammed the vendor as “bigoted” on social media, and said he’d been refused “for political reasons.” The dispute got so intense, the police were called… and filed a report, which relays the event in deadpan detail.
- The police report states that the farmer’s market manager walkie-talkied a local cop to say that a customer was being disruptive to one of the vendors. As the officer approached the pierogi stand, “about four” other vendors likewise asserted that the famed attorney was harassing and videotaping the pierogi vendor, the report states. “Both vendors looked stressed and seemed to be trying to ignore and work around this person in order to serve other customers,” the report says.
- The cop persuaded Dershowitz to walk away from the pierogi booth, while the lawyer explained that his rights were being violated because they “won't sell me a pierogi,” the report says. The result was a hilarious "Veep"-style comedy scene in which Dershowitz, a longtime constitutional law professor at Harvard who’s famous for arguing mega-cases and fighting impeachment battles, got into a drawn-out debate with a cop at a farmer’s market about whether he was legally entitled to buy dumplings — as detailed in a video of their exchange.
- As a result, “Mr. Dershowitz stated he was going to spread the word to others at the market to not buy from the pierogi booth,” the report states. If he did that, the officer warned, he would be asked to leave the premises, and potentially face a “No Trespass Order,” the document continues.
- The cop briefly left Dershowitz, who went to a nearby lemonade stand. When the officer came back, “Mr. Dershowitz was just a few feet from the lemonade booth, and when I approached, I did overhear him attempting to discourage a couple patrons from going to the pierogi booth,” the police report says. Shortly after, the lawyer departed, pierogiless.
The clash between Epstein’s former lawyer and the Martha’s Vineyard farmer’s market appears far from over.
- Dershowitz took his gripes straight to Rumble, the right-wing social media platform. Dershowitz threatened legal action against the farmer’s market “to make sure that they only have booths by people who will sell to everybody.”
- “The clear implication was that he opposed me because I defended Donald Trump and because I was a Zionist,” said Dershowitz, who recalled in his Rumble video that he had worn a shirt to the market the previous week that said, “Proud American Zionist.” He said the Peirogi vendor had “looked at it strangely.” He later described the incident as “pure McCarthyism,” referring to the persecution of those accused of disloyalty (or their lawyers) in the 1950s.
- Good Pierogi, for its part, earned the support of Stephen Colbert on his show last night. “To our friends at Martha’s Vineyard I say… Good Pierogi? No. More like: Great Pierogi,” Colbert said.
- “The drama unfolded like a bad Netflix courtroom movie. Dershowitz compared the incident to racial or sexual discrimination, which is sort of like comparing a stubbed toe to a shark bite,” reads a letter to the editor in the Martha’s Vineyard Times. “He says he’ll be back this Saturday for Round Two. This time with friends. And a camera crew.”
One of Good Pierogi’s people took to Instagram today to say: “For all the support and positive comments. And thank you for negative, hateful comments as well. It gives us a beautiful opportunity to say the truth … My mind is blown. It's exploding.”
|
|
WHAT A SPONSOR
With prices going up on just about everything lately, being smart with your money isn’t just a good idea – it’s essential.
Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.
Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.
Their dashboard lays out your total financial picture — including bill due dates and pay days — in a way that’s easy to digest. You can even automatically create custom budgets based on your past spending.
If you’ve got a goal you’d like to save for, Rocket Money can analyze your accounts to find the best time each month to put extra money aside.
Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work to get you better deals. They’ll even talk to customer service, so you don’t have to.
Get alerts if your bills increase in price, if there’s unusual activity in your accounts, if you’re close to going over budget, and even when you’re doing a good job!
Rocket Money’s 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features.
Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com/crooked today.
|
|
Donald Trump fired the Labor Department official in charge of releasing monthly economic data, after a new report showed lackluster job growth in the U.S. last month. He alleged, without evidence, that the data was “manipulated.” I can’t wait for the new report that shows 10,000,000,000 new jobs were created in July, and that unemployment has dropped to negative four-trillion percent!
Federal authorities transferred Ghislaine Maxwell, the confidant of deceased child sex predator Jeffrey Epstein, to a minimum security prison in Texas. So is this convicted sex trafficker getting preferential treatment from the Trump administration, days after a secretive meeting with Trump’s envoy? “This move smacks of a cover up. The victims deserve better,” said the family of Virginia Giuffre, an alleged victim of Epstein’s.
Trump engaged in a little nuclear saber-rattling with Russia this afternoon, saying he deployed two nuclear submarines to “be positioned in the appropriate regions” following threatening comments made by former Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. Trump’s decision is “just in case these foolish and inflammatory statements are more than just that,” he wrote. How much chaos can this man create in one day?
Trump’s political operation has raked in more than $230 million, which could prove pivotal for MAGA Republicans in the 2026 midterms. Interestingly, $15 million came from Elon Musk — the week before he fell out with the president and announced a new third party (which he still hasn’t launched). Maybe the position of “First Buddy” requires annual lifetime fees?
The Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History removed Trump references from its impeachment exhibit, despite the fact that he was impeached twice. It came as part of a content review by the museum following pressure from the White House, and the exhibit was updated to only feature content up to 2008. “A future and updated exhibit will include all impeachments,” The Smithsonian said in a statement.
Trump unveiled new global tariffs last night that are scheduled to go into effect on Thursday, with rates ranging from 15 to 41 percent on 67 countries. That is, of course, unless he chickens out.
Today is “Hulk Hogan Day” in Florida, Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) declared. The governor then ripped his shirt off, stomped outside and bodyslammed the first person he saw, in the traditional celebratory greeting of this beloved Florida holiday. |
|
FRIEND (OF THE POD) ZONE
New episode of Pollercoaster with Dan Pfeiffer just dropped! Dan breaks down why Trump still can’t shake the bipartisan interest in the Epstein files, what to make of Christine Maxwell’s rumored offer to testify for clemency, and explains why there’s buzz around Roy Cooper’s potential Senate bid in North Carolina. He also wraps up by answering subscriber questions. Got a question for Dan or just want to nerd out with the full episode? Subscribe at crooked.com/friends or through apple podcasts.
|
|
A 5K road race in Philadelphia, in memory of an NHL hockey player and his brother, both who died in a cycling accident last year, raised more than $500,000 to build an accessible playground at a local special education school where their mom works.
A tiny seaside town in Virginia celebrated its 100th annual wild pony swim, which is pretty much what it sounds like. Volunteer firefighter corral ponies (who live on nearby Assateague Island) and have them swim during slack tide to the mainland, in an effort to control the horse population on the island.
Here’s a picture of the ponies swimming! (Credit to Graeme Sloan). And scroll down for a meme, too; we could use some extra laughs this week.
|
|
No longer want to receive these emails? Unsubscribe.
Crooked Media 4817 N 56th St Suite 45 Lincoln, Nebraska 68504
|
|
|
|
|
