The Epstein Files & MAGA Meltdown: When a Cult Starts Eating Itself

Never Go To War With Your Pants Down

It’s finally happening! The MAGA cult, long held together by rage, racism and a man who looks like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man dipped himself in a nice, fecal-shade-of bronzer, is cracking. Why?

Because their dear leader—the man who claimed he alone could fix it—is suddenly a little shy when it comes to…fixing it. In this case, releasing the Epstein files.

The same ones that the Alex Jones, member of the Republican inner brain trust, swore would unveil a satanic cabal of liberal baby-eaters on a pedo-island in the Caribbean.

But now that Trump’s in power again…what files!? Man, he’s got those things locked up tighter than a Mar-a-Lago crapper during classified-document bingo. And the MAGA base? They’ve noticed. Ruh roh.

There’s an old saying here..It goes something like “never robo-lie and share conspiracy with cultists, feeding dolts a steady diet of ‘the other guys are pedos, we protect children and we got the Epstein files to prove it’ for years..only to then say you don’t have the files. Or they’renot important. Or Democrats just made them up.

Maybe—and I’m just spitballing here—it’s not so clever to base your whole movement around an issue when you appear in the files so many times you should get paid royalties for every download. From what David Shuster previously wrote for us:

Just look at the Epstein grand jury materials released in Florida last year.

Donald Trump is all over the Epstein call logs. Trump is also in Epstein flight manifests. There are also countless pictures of Trump with a virtual army of young women. And there is video - broadcast years ago by NBC News - of Trump and Epstein partying and then whispering to each other and pointing at the young women dancing in front of them.

Suddenly red hats are spinning like QAnon dreidels. Some think Trump’s being blackmailed. Others think he’s “strategically timing” the release of the files (spoiler: he isn’t. You used the word “strategic” as if that’s a thing he can do). And the rest?

They’re starting to wonder if maybe—just maybe—the guy who partied with Epstein, called him “terrific” and admired how he “liked girls young” could also be a sicko. You know, just a normal dude who called his young daughter “a piece of ass” and snuck into beauty-pageant-changing rooms to peak, Porky’s style, on naked teen girls...

Could it be that he is what he always obviously was to those of us without a buildup of excess spinal fluid? Perhaps, had they been beyond Lauren Boebert’s multiple-failed-GED reading level, they could’ve perused this repulsive court filing (Shuster also wrote about this for us):

If anybody wants even more courthouse material or legal files, google Donald Trump and Katie Johnson. According to a Johnson lawsuit, she was 13 years old and an aspiring model in 1994 when she attended a series of parties at Jeffrey Epstein’s Manhattan home. She claimed that Epstein raped her and that she was also tied to a bed and raped by Donald Trump.

According to the Johnson lawsuit, quote: “During the course of this savage sexual attack, plaintiff Johnson loudly pleaded with Donald Trump to ‘please wear a condom.’ Defendant Trump responded by violently striking Plaintiff Johnson in the face with his open hand and screaming that he ‘would do whatever he wanted’ as he refused to wear protection.

After achieving sexual orgasm, the Defendant Donald J. Trump put his suit back on and when the Plaintiff, Katie Johnson, in tears asked Defendant Donald Trump what would happen if he had impregnated her, Defendant Trump grabbed his wallet and threw some money at her and screamed that she should use the money ‘to get a fucking abortion.’”

So MAGA factions are now openly feuding, which is fun while you watch those who screamed “lock her up” suddenly have to ask, “Wait... why won’t he open it up?” Then you remember what it’s about, and it’s difficult to find these patriarchal perverts who project their psychoses onto perceived “enemies” as anything other than yet another sickness in our culture and a failure of our corporate media. Again.

The kicker? Vladimir Putin entering this blender of conspiracy, hypocrisy, and body odor. Trump’s former handler-turned-frenemy is very un-thrilled with his American asset —Trump ignored the boss on bombing Iran, he’s now waffling on Ukraine..the public tension has been obvious in the back & forths for at least 2 mos now.

In fact, we were some of the first to tell you about this, which, again, is why independent media is so important, so crucial to fund.

It wouldn’t be the first time Vlad used his troll farms and Telegram flunkies to stoke the flames among Trump’s true believers. Putin’s goal was never just electing a puppet—it was burning the American house down.

So now, as Trump stumblebums around with his brain dripping out of his ears, Putin may have finally had enough. Especially with others like Musk, Vance and congressional Republicans to choose from in The Vladivostok Dating Game.

In the end it’s pretty simple. Live by defining who you are—from Q to trans hatred to abortion—around “protecting children.” Die (politically) by defining who you are around “protecting children.”