Dear John,
I’m a parent, working in Minnesota to build the political identity and power of parents. On June 14, a man enacted horrific political violence, killing Rep. Melissa Hortman, and her spouse, Mark; shooting and seriously injuring Sen. John Hoffman and his spouse, Yvette; and targeting dozens of other elected leaders. In the days following, I talked to a lot of parents in my circle. We supported each other in answering our kids’ questions about what happened. (Writing this, I’m filled with fresh grief and rage about how much of parenting is helping children think through what, in a just world, would be unthinkable.) I’m writing to share how I’ve been responding because I know many of you are in the same spot, trying to explain what’s behind an act of political violence while grappling with your own feelings.
I’m curious to hear about your conversations and how you’re doing. Reply to this email to let me know.
What happened and why?
What we know for sure is that a man shot and killed an elected leader and her husband, and shot and seriously injured a different elected leader and his wife. Now that man is in jail, and will probably stay there for a very long time.
We know that this elected leader, Rep. Melissa Hortman, and her husband, Mark, were whole people. They had children and loved dogs and cared a lot about our community. Rep. Hortman dedicated her life and career to making Minnesota a better place for everyone. Now, a lot of people are grieving and will really miss them. A lot of us who didn’t know them are grieving too because they are part of our community.
We’ll probably never know exactly why the man did this. We can make some guesses. It sounds like he was really really mad at these elected leaders, and we might learn some things about why, but we don’t know much yet. We might never get the full story. It can be hard and scary when we don’t have answers for things.
We also know that this probably wouldn’t have happened if guns weren’t so easy to get. I feel scared when I think about guns, and I feel better when I remember all the people working to make guns a lot harder to get.
What’s political violence?
It’s using violence, force, or threats to try to control people, or control the rules that we all have to live by. This kind of political violence – where one person kills a public official – is rare in the United States, but it’s still scary.
It’s also important to understand that other kinds of political violence are really common and have been for generations and generations. It’s even one of the ways that our country came to be. White settlers wanted land and wealth. To get what they wanted, they killed and displaced millions of Native people and kidnapped and forced labor from millions of Black people. That violence from hundreds of years ago is still having an impact.
Today, political violence is showing up in a lot of different ways. We see that on our phones and on TV. Right now, we have a President who tells people it’s ok to hurt other people based on where we were born, who we love, or what we look like. Greedy billionaires and big corporations are taking money that should go to us, our loved ones, and our communities. That means millions of us can’t afford a safe cozy home, delicious nutritious food, clean water, care when we’re sick, fun and challenging ways to contribute to our community, rest, and play. That’s political violence too. That’s one way bad leaders try to make people feel scared and keep us from speaking up. They want us to be afraid we will lose what we have.
What can we do?
Right now a lot of us feel sad and scared. That’s ok. It helps to remember we’re not alone, and that even when bad things happen, all of us have agency. That is just a fancy way to say: we have choices. We can choose to do our best to take care of ourselves when we’re hurting. We can choose to show our love for our community by working together to make it better. Choosing to do things together is really powerful. It helps us work through fear and push back against violence. It is the only way we can make our communities better. A lot of people before us have made that choice, and a lot of people now are making that choice every day. You can do that too, and you don’t have to do it alone.
These conversations aren’t easy. I hope that these reflections can be useful to you as you respond to hard questions from your loved ones.
If you’re a parent or caregiver looking for a place to plug in right now, there’s a place for you on my team, MN United Parents. We’re building political power among parents so that our communities are built around love and care and what our families need – not violence. Our next open meeting is Tuesday, July 8.
With love, care, and solidarity,
Lindsay Turner
Parent & Caregiver Organizer
