Dear John,
As someone diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 16, I want to share part of my journey about how assisted outpatient treatment (AOT) turned my life around. Before AOT, I had stopped taking my medication and I was really sick. One day, I was in a manic state and stole my father’s car. I smoked a lot of weed, fell asleep at the wheel, and when I woke up, I realized I had totaled my dad’s car. At the hospital, they told me, “When you get out of here, you’re going to jail.”
When I was in jail, I was very psychotic. My mom got in contact with a police officer who does crisis intervention, and along with Judge Burke in Kentucky, they were able to get me released from jail into the hospital. In the hospital, I was in and out of reality. When they finally got my medicine right, I was released and court-ordered to do the AOT program.
AOT made me realize that I was different, but I was also normal, and that as long as I would take my medication, I could be a productive citizen in society. Judge Burke held me accountable. Having to report to her every month made me watch my Ps and Qs! Judge Burke made me feel that this was not just court-ordered, but that she really cared about me, deeply and personally. She even came to my house on Christmas and brought me a gift. Judge Burke has been a great influence in my life.
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Before AOT, I was in and out of the hospital many times. Since going through AOT, I have not been off my medication for over two years now. I now realize that my disease is not going anywhere, and without medication, I am going to two places – the hospital and jail. Every single time I was off my medication, I ended up in both. It was a revolving door.
When I graduated from the AOT program, we took a picture in the court, and it wasn’t a mug shot, and that was a big milestone for me. The goal I have for my life right now is to never be admitted or arrested again, but I don’t want it to end there.
I hope my story can make others realize that AOT is not a punishment; it’s having accountability partners. The people in the program want to see you do good, they want to see you stay out of the hospital and out of jail. They want to help you become a productive member of society like I am today.
With gratitude,
Dawne Ellis
AOT graduate in Kentucky
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