Morgan Flaherty was delighted to know her first child would be a daughter. She never had a sister growing up and always wanted one. So when she and her partner found out that their second child was a boy, she felt all kinds of ways. She did a little digging: is gender disappointment legit and, more importantly, OK to feel? Let her tell you what she found out.

As Sarah Michelle Sherman writes, “I expected to cry for my son, for myself, for the life I thought I was building. I didn’t expect to cry for our dog — or to feel guilty that I couldn’t protect her from the heartbreak, too.”