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Here's today's roundup. | MADE IN THE USA: The New Pope Is an American |
Close your eyes. Listen closely. You may hear Free Bird playing in the distance.
Vatican Cardinals chose Chicago man Robert Prevost as the new pope on Thursday, making him the first American to ascend to the top of the Catholic Church.
Born in Illinois in 1955, Prevost grew up in a modest brick home, completed his secondary education in Holland, Michigan, earned an undergraduate mathematics degree from Pennsylvania’s Villanova University, then returned to Chicago for graduate school. He joined the Order of Saint Augustine in 1977, became an ordained priest in 1982, and entered the Augustinian mission in Peru in 1985. Pope Francis named him a cardinal-bishop earlier this year.
Donald Trump reacted to the news immediately after it broke, calling having an American pontiff a “great honor” and announcing his intention to meet with him soon.
Read more here and watch Pope Leo XIV’s first address here. |
What Does LEO XIV Believe? Here’s a Brief Roundup. |
The question of what the new pope will stand for rose to the top of the world’s collective mind as soon as Thursday’s white smoke began billowing from the Sistine Chapel. His social media and quote history offer some clues.
Based on a roundup of his past stances, Prevost seems likely to be anti-abortion, anti-euthanasia, anti-capital punishment, and less embracing of the global Pride movement than Pope Francis. He once reportedly accused the media of encouraging “sympathy for beliefs and practices that are at odds with the gospel,” including the “homosexual lifestyle” and “alternative families comprised of same-sex partners and their adopted children.”
Read more about Leo XIV’s policy stances here.
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America’s four-year humiliation exercise of having Joe Biden as its leader may be over, but the dazed and confused politician just isn’t ready to go away.
The former president, accompanied by his controller Jill, appeared on The View on Thursday to be swooned at by the show’s doting hosts and live audience. It went roughly how you’d expect.
Biden blamed sexism for Kamala Harris’s loss, insisted he would have beaten Donald Trump if he’d stayed in the race, and needed his wife to answer a question about his mental decline for him after he mumbled off into oblivion while appearing to lose his train of thought.
It would be easy to keep making fun of the 973-year-old Iraq War architect for once again displaying that he has the same cognitive functionality as the sack of potatoes in your pantry, and we probably will again soon. But it’s also worth recognizing that the scene on The View was really quite sad. Just look at the guy. Any honest person could easily identify him as a befuddled elderly man with no remote clue what’s happening. For Biden’s own sake, can the freaks who continue propping him up as a functional adult, let alone someone equipped to run the country, just leave him alone already?
Read more here and watch the full interview here, if you have the stomach for it. |
Vance Calls Out Biden’s “Rich” Ukraine Criticism |
Earlier this week, Joe Biden called Donald Trump’s Oval Office argument with Volodymyr Zelensky “beneath America.” JD Vance is having none of it.
I think it’s rich for Joe Biden to comment on anything that we’re doing when it comes to Russia and Ukraine, because, of course, under Biden’s administration, Russia launched the full-scale invasion of Ukraine,” he said in a Thursday interview. “And if we wanted to take advice from anybody on foreign policy, especially foreign policy in Europe, it would not be Joe Biden… I don’t really care what he has to say about American foreign policy, because so much of what he actually did was a total disaster.”
Everything Vance said is true. Independent of anything that has to do with Ukraine, Biden’s role in launching the Iraq War should have immediately disqualified him from influencing American foreign policy ever again. Pair that with the fact that he did nothing to try to stop the current conflict in Eastern Europe, and you quickly realize he’s no wiser than your college roommate who insisted he was a brilliant chef but consistently burned his toast. Read more and watch the Vice President’s remarks here. |
Satellite Images Reveal Alleged Secret Iranian Nuclear Site |
Satellite images allegedly showing a previously undisclosed Iranian nuclear weapons facility hit the internet on Thursday, prompting war hawk calls for the U.S. to attack the Middle Eastern country. You can see one of the pictures here. Code-named the "Rainbow Site,” the 2,500-acre compound has reportedly operated for over a decade. It is said to focus on the extraction of tritium, a radioactive isotope with virtually no commercial applications that is used to enhance nuclear weapons.
Don’t be surprised when you hear swamp creatures from both sides of America’s political aisle insisting that these unconfirmed photos, just like early 2000s fake allegations that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, make their new foreign intervention project a vital matter of national security. They’re dying for an excuse to start this war, and these satellite images could help create one.
If the pictures turn out to be frauds? Don’t worry, they’d come up with something else. Perhaps the purported need to bring democracy to Iran? Or the apparently crucial American need to defend foreign interests? To them, the ends will beat the means. Anything to get the missiles to fly. Read more. |
Putin and Xi Meet in Moscow, Russia-China Alliance Grows |
Vladimir Putin hosted Xi Jinping for an extended private meeting in Moscow on Thursday. The Chinese leader pledged to “safeguard the global multilateral trading system,” presumably from Donald Trump.
The presidents began their summit with a handshake photo op in front of two jaw-droppingly large flags, creating an image that should concern anyone who doesn’t want the world’s most and third-most prolific nuclear powers to have a permanent alliance against the United States. Unfortunately, thanks to Joe Biden and permanent Washington’s bloodthirsty Ukraine fetish, that’s exactly what’s happening.
“Our political interaction is strengthening, practical cooperation is deepening, and cultural, humanitarian, exchange, and interregional ties are gaining momentum,” Putin reportedly told the media after the event.
This did not need to happen. Regardless of what America’s foreign policy establishment says, having a hostile relationship with Russia simply for the sake of it is not in our country’s interest. It could only drive Moscow closer to Beijing and accelerate China’s pursuit of becoming the world’s dominant power. That’s exactly what’s taking place. Read more.
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Democrats Are Torn on Whether They Should Hate White Men |
Intraparty conflicts are fascinating.
2016 Republicans being divided on whether America should have invaded Iraq, 1840s Whigs doing battle over the annexation of Texas, and late 18th-century Federalists squabbling over a potential war with France are three of many examples.
Another is unfolding today, this time among Democrats: Should their party hate white people?
Former Bill Clinton advisor James Carville thinks it shouldn’t, and he’s urging liberals who disagree, like Ilhan Omar, to start their own party before their idiocy sinks the Democrats’ ship for good.
“Ilhan Omar, lady, why don’t you just get out of the Democratic Party? Honestly, start your own movement,” he said on Thursday. “So now we’re going to have a campaign by the progressive left against white men who vote about a third of everybody that votes in the election? Why don’t you, lady, start your own party?”
In 2018, Omar famously said that “Our country should be more fearful of white men in our country because they are actually causing most of the deaths within this country.” Read more. |
California Regulations Could Spike Gas Prices to $8 Per Gallon |
A new University of Southern California analysis has found that the state’s gas prices could reach $8.44 per gallon by the end of 2026.
The cause? Taxes, fees, and the sharp reduction of oil production.
“Over the last 30 to 50 years, the California state excise tax on gasoline has increased by 253%, the number of motor vehicles has grown by 38%, and our population has increased by 24%...” the study’s lead facilitator wrote. “Concurrently, a series of regulatory costs that have been layered onto refiners, distributors, and local operators have had a compounding effect on retail prices at the pump.”
Why is this happening? Are the Golden State’s leaders too incompetent to realize the harm they’re causing? Not at all. They’re doing it on purpose. Last year, California regulators approved a “low-carbon fuel standard” that the state itself admits will increase fuel costs by $162 billion through 2046. No wonder residents are fleeing to red states like Florida and Tennessee. Read more.
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Former NHL Player Channels Inner Stacy Abrams, Pens “Sexy” Romance Novel |
Remember Stacy Abrams’ romance novels?
“Heat, like an inferno, blazed in his veins. Temptation, like a song, clouded his mind… Their tongues tangled, danced, as she reveled in the movement… She gripped his waist to pull him closer until she stood cradled between his hard thighs.”
We won’t blame you for pausing for a water break. Literature like that is almost too hot to handle, especially when it’s written by someone like the inspiring and revolutionary near-governor of Georgia.
Former professional hockey player Sean Avery announced his attempt to follow in Abrams’ steamy footsteps earlier this month, revealing that his “sexy and addictive” romance novel, Summer Skate, will be available in September. We can’t wait to read it. Read more. |
Basketball Analyst Keeps Promise, Walks 20 Miles in Bathrobe After Boston’s Loss |
The sports world received a shock on Monday when the New York Knicks defeated the Boston Celtics in the opening game of their current playoff series. Boston entered the matchup as a heavy favorite. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Despite the upset, most analysts remained confident that the Celtics would quickly recover and dispatch the Knicks in game two. One, former player Paul Pierce, was so certain that he pledged to walk from his home to his TV show’s studio barefoot and in his bathrobe if New York somehow triumphed again.
Unfortunately for Pierce, the Knicks did precisely that on Wednesday, upsetting Boston again to take a 2-0 series lead. To his credit, Pierce stayed true to his word, ditching his car to make his Thursday morning commute on foot and in his bathroom garment.
“This is crazy, dog,” he said during the trek. “I can’t believe this! [The Celtics] got me out here like this. I’m sweating… I’m a man of my word, though.” Read more here and watch Pierce’s hilarious vlog from the middle of his journey here. |
Many “Historic Firsts” Are Meaningless. This One Isn’t. |
The media are constantly droning on about trailblazing Democrats becoming the first of their kind.
Kamala Harris, the first female and black presidential nominee. Pete Buttigieg, the first gay Cabinet member. And of course, Karine Jean-Pierre, the first LGBTQIAAP2S+ press secretary.
Those feats must be celebrated, they demand. Worshiped even. Only a bigot would disagree. Now tell Jean-Pierre how inspiring she is. Immediately.
Chicago man Robert Prevost becoming Pope Leo XIV on Thursday, making him the first-ever American to rise to the top of the Catholic Church, is a rare “first” that’s not designed to tear our country apart; one that’s actually worth commemorating.
Unlike ultimately insignificant traits like skin color or “sexual orientation,” being an American is the one thing capable of uniting all of the United States’ citizens. It’s what everyone has in common, no matter where their politics, religion, or even their individual values lie.
It’s no coincidence that you don’t hear that much. Culture warriors are constantly reminding Americans of all the things that make them different in an effort to tear them apart for political gain. Getting voters angry is a great way to earn support, and who better to target that rage at than their fellow countrymen who look, act, or cast ballots differently than they do?
Yesterday served as a break from that. Videos of everyday people chanting “USA” in the streets served as a valuable reminder that, above all else, we’re all Americans. And now we’re represented in the Vatican.
So soak it in, Mr. and Mrs. America. You have the Olympics. You have the World Cup. And now, you have the pope.
Did someone say Golden Age?
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May 9, 1386: England and Portugal sign the Treaty of Windsor. The pact established an alliance between the two nations, focusing on mutual security, commercial ties, and freedom of movement and settlement. The marriage of King John I of Portugal and Philippa of Lancaster, daughter of John of Gaunt, 1st Duke of Lancaster, sealed the arrangement the next year. It remains in effect today as the world’s longest-standing treaty.
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