Good morning!
My dear email subscribers, I just realized that my last few weeks' Survival Sunday posts have not been sent. I had them scheduled, but I have a new email service, and I think I did it wrong. So this morning, I got up early to be sure I got this note to you.
I decided last week that I need to re-enter social media and spend more time interacting. I'm going to share what I posted to Facebook about my situation. Please pardon any repetition of what you already know. Some of these things were included in the emails that didn't go out, and I thought I'd just get the update all down in one place and start again fresh with messages after this.
I haven't been on social media very much in the last couple of years. I've been dealing with some life-altering stuff, and I just didn't know what to say.
I don't like to sound like a complainer, so I said nothing at all. It seemed too difficult to explain, and I just wanted to fade away. I felt like I didn't have anything to offer anymore, so greatly have my circumstances changed.
I kept thinking things would get better and that the situation was temporary.But it isn't.After multiple surgeries, tendon transplants, and all sorts of other unfun stuff, my ankle is really no better than it was before all that. The joint is now riddled with arthritis, and I have severe tendonitis, too.
What's more, I had months and months of recovery time where I couldn't get around much at all. The apartment where I lived, though charming, was downstairs, and getting out by myself was nearly impossible. My insurance was canceled, and getting physical therapy was too expensive to pay for out of pocket.
I spent nearly two years ordering all my groceries and other items to be delivered. I felt isolated and trapped. I became more and more depressed. My concentration was shot, so I was broke. I just kept on waiting for things to get better, but they didn't.
Finally, I've accepted the fact that this *is* my situation. I'm working to adapt because this life deserves for me to give things my all. The people who love me deserve to have a more positive and healthy version of me.
I have great parking for life now, so that's pretty cool.
I'm staying with my daughter at her place, where I can get around a lot better. I have a variety of mobility devices to use, depending on the day's agenda and the pain level. (Some of my canes are downright blingy and adorable.) I sit outside in the courtyard most days and read for a while, which feels like such a decadent luxury after all that time inside. I'm searching for a long-term location that is suited to my mobility challenges.
This is not what I foresaw for this period of my life, but I'm not going to lose more time sitting around waiting for things to heal and get better. It's time to rejoin the world and end my Self-Pity Sabbatical. I'm going to do my best to get back on social media and my FB group. I'm going to keep looking for the bright side and dive back into work. I wish I had tons of answers for my fellow preppers with disabilities, but I'm not there yet - I'm still trying to figure it out for myself.
I know that I've said before that I was going to accept my situation, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I still thought that I was healing and it would only take more time and I'd be back to a more normal and active version of myself. As I learn to manage all this, I'll certainly be able to do more, but the person who walked many miles per day and traveled the world is not coming back. I'm making peace with that now, and I really do feel better for accepting that life has changed.
If you missed it, here's the most recent installment of Haven Hill:
https://www.theorganicprepper.com/haven-hill-chapter-8/
Now, I'm off to do the NYT crossword puzzle and listen to the birds while I savor another cup of coffee.
Thank you all for your support and kindness.
Love,
Daisy
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