Dear John,
As you know, Breach has been a firm, longtime skeptic of the fossil fuel industry’s plans to reduce their greenhouse gas emissions through alternative, “renewable” fuels. However, Breach staff were recently invited to take an all-expenses-paid trip to Denmark, where we were given a boat tour of that country’s renewables industry. Or was it their industrial renewables? We can’t quite recall; there was something about “symbiosis.”
Anyway, on the last evening of the tour, after several sazeracs and after checking the news about how climate groups are doing elsewhere, we saw the light 🤑. Well, it may have been the light of a methane flare, but just like Hank Williams once did we took it as a sign to change our wicked ways.
As of today, April 1, Breach Collective is officially embracing renewable fuels as the way forward. Not just in general, but specifically in relation to the plans of some of our region’s biggest champions of these technologies: erstwhile fossil fuel companies Zenith Energy and NW Natural.
Zenith Energy, We Believe You: We saw your ads about how you’re “on track” to transition your crude oil storage to renewable fuel. Sure, you may define “renewable fuel” so as to include blends of high percentages of fossil fuels. And yes, some of the fuels are just as noxious and potentially as or more carbon intensive than the fossil fuels they’re replacing. And I suppose it’s true that the risks of train derailments or, heaven forbid, a major oil spill when the big earthquake hits, are just as bad with these fuels. And OK, the risks are only increasing because of the massive planned expansion of the facility. We’re prepared to look past all that, just as I guess we’re now prepared to look past all your legal violations over the years. After all, what matters most is that Portland remains open for business, and particularly that the office doors (including backdoors) of Portland city staff remain wide open to fossil fuel companies like you.
Here’s to NW Natural: a Hero on a Journey to “Destination Zero”: Even if the Public Utilities Commission disagrees, and even if your own regulatory filings show you’re off-pace, we know that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and we want to give you an A for Effort. And boy have you been trying hard lately. Trying so hard to blend hydrogen in your system that you didn’t have time to notify the local community. Spending so much energy and using so much methane in creating that hydrogen that you’re probably increasing emissions compared with using that methane directly. But hey, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. Speaking of chickens, we think it’s super that you’re investing in some of the most polluting, industrialized slaughterhouses to produce renewable natural gas.
Zenith and NW Natural: we’re sorry. Even if these so-called “renew– uh, sorry, old habits – we mean, Totally 100% Genuinely Renewable Fuels have been called textbook greenwashing, you can’t spell greenwashing without “green,” and we think green is good. And we think you guys are alright. From now on, we’re going to stop being the irreverent watchdogs you’ve come to know and loathe, and start playing nice.
Happy April Fools!
Danny and the Breach Team
