Hello,
In this week’s edition, as we approach Valentine’s Day, I explain why a lifelong commitment is worthwhile and how such a relationship adds to the quality of your life. Then, I share the first episode of my series “Foundations of the West,” the episode in which Ben Shapiro and I explore Jerusalem. From the archives, I look back on a previous lecture addressing why a real relationship should be a wrestling match, with both people growing individually and together.
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Advice
Commit For A Lifetime: How To Know You Are Ready For Marriage
To know if you are ready to marry someone, you should know if you can negotiate with the person in such a way you have started to formulate a vision of a joint future that you can both look forward to with enthusiasm and confidence. That means considering if you have a sufficient number of joint interests and are oriented in the same direction with regard to careers, the possibility of children, and the manner in which you will interact with your in-laws, for example.
Experiencing the attraction that is associated with love is extraordinarily important. If you have it, you are unbelievably fortunate and should do everything you can to maintain it — and that takes effort. However, your relationship and future marriage cannot just be about attraction. You have to start considering your life together from the perspective of practicality and economics. You need to ally the attraction with maturity and intelligence in regard to how you are going to put your lives together on a level of detail. Ask and talk about: How are we going to handle our finances? Where are we going to live? What are our joint plans going to be? You should know the person well enough that you start discussing the real practical issues of life and determine if you are capable of negotiating those together.
Unless you make a lifelong commitment (i.e., one that you are not going to back out of), you are not going to take the relationship with the seriousness necessary to make it the highest possible quality and sustainability. The relationship you jointly operate adds immensely to the quality and depth of your life. You have the rope and strand of your life, and your partner has the rope and strand of theirs; those are tied together to make a stronger rope that unites you across time so you can undertake massive adventures together. It is challenging, but it is a process that produces an unbreakable bond between two beings. If the relationship is based on trust and genuine communication, that bond makes both individuals better in every way.
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“An Evening to Transform Your Life” Tour
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In his 3-part series, “Marriage,” Dr. Jordan B. Peterson discusses how to better understand, appreciate, and strengthen your relationship with your spouse. Drawing on his knowledge as a clinical psychologist and experiences in his 33-year marriage, he answers questions such as: Why get married? What makes a successful marriage? What are the best ways to communicate with your spouse? Why is striving to live up to the ideals of marriage worth the effort? In “Marriage,” Dr. Peterson explains how to achieve the ultimate goal: the perfect date that repeats endlessly.
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‘An Act Of Faith’: Why Marriage Is Far Better Than The Single Life
You enter into marriage as an act of faith. You fall in love with someone, which is a grace — a gift of God in some real sense. You see what it would be like to care for someone. You see what it would be like to have someone care for you and value you. You get a glimpse of that in love and then you have a challenge set before you which is: can you arrange your life with this person that you’ve fallen in love with so that that state of love permeates the entire relationship and everything you do together all the time? Obviously, that’s an extraordinarily high goal to hit, a high mountain to climb. But you need something to do, and it might as well be that. And in an intimate relationship, when things are going as well as they can go, I think you’re hard-pressed to find anything better in life.
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Jerusalem & The Axis Mundi | Foundations Of The West Episode I With Ben Shapiro
In this episode, I share the first episode of my series “Foundations of the West.” In it, Ben Shapiro and I explore the profound impact Jerusalem has had on shaping Western civilization, particularly in bridging the gap between God and man. In the full five-part docuseries, I travel through the historic cities of Jerusalem, Athens, and Rome, reflecting on their lasting influence on Western ideals with my colleagues. The third episode has been nominated for Best Documentary at the 32nd Annual Movieguide Faith & Values Awards Gala, a nomination which highlights content that inspires and offers hope to society, a central aim of this series. You can watch the entire series exclusively on DailyWire+.
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What Do You Want From Your Partner?
In this lecture, I address what you want from a partner — and it is not pure bliss. Periods of peace punctuated by a good fight mean you respect them, you have something to offer each other, and you are both growing. A person who only says and does positive things to and for you is not truly communicating with you, nor you with them. If you believe you can completely map your partner, then you do not really know that person. Maybe they are just subordinating themselves to you (or you to them), but regardless, you are not growing. A real relationship is a wrestling match; it is a grappling phenomenon from which you both emerge transformed.
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Thank you for reading,
Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
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