BY MATT BERG
& CROOKED MEDIA |
|
|
|
This is like the Death Star of corruption.”
— Progressive activism leader Adam Green, describing Elon Musk’s DOGE takeover of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, to What A Day.
|
|
|
|
Elon Musk’s rag-tag band of unaccountable teenage employees is running amok. Federal government workers tell What A Day they’re bracing for the worst.
- De facto President Elon Musk has unleashed a handful of baby-faced tech bros to dismantle the U.S. government from the inside out with his so-called “Department of Government Efficiency.” Despite promising transparency, Musk has tried to keep their identities shrouded in mystery. Yet one DOGE partisan in particular has taken the spotlight: Edward Coristine, a 19-year-old Northeastern University dropout who referred to himself on LinkedIn (of all places…) as “Big Balls.” He briefly worked at Musk’s brain chip start-up Neuralink, which apparently qualified him to be a “senior adviser” in the boss’s made-up agency. I wish I were kidding, but this is the hellish timeline we’re living in.
- In MAGAworld, however, failing upwards is the norm. Coristine now seems to have gained access to vast amounts of sensitive government information, with appointments at the State Department and Department of Homeland Security. Others have combed through Treasury, USAID, NOAA, DHS, Education Department and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB).
- “I'm nervous that if this kid is DOGEing all over the place, not only will known issues like that go unresolved, but that he will create new vulnerabilities,” a long-time State Department employee told What A Day, noting how vulnerable government systems are to hackers. “There is no way that someone with such little experience, who has been there for all of 10 minutes, could understand some of this.”
- Other agencies are taking precautions. “We have been advised by our leadership team to contact them immediately if we are approached by anyone at DOGE,” a federal employee told What A Day. “So far, they seem focused on other departments, so it’s a little bit of a breather.”
DOGE’s rampage through the agencies is testing the limits of the law.
- The “move fast and break things” mantra that Silicon Valley tech bros swear by doesn’t work well when it comes to the federal government, Brian Finucane, a former State Department legal adviser, told What A Day — neither “in terms of substantive outcomes nor in terms of compliance with the law.” The way that DOGE is going about operations, he added, is reminiscent of a troubled Iraqi transitional government that was set up by the U.S. in 2003.
- “If they replace … civil servants with a bunch of, like, 19-year-old douchebags and whatever else they are planning, the operation of the federal government is going to be vastly undermined,” Crooked’s Leah Litman told Pod Save America. Rebuilding that workforce could take some time.
Welp! “I guess the silver lining here is that if he does a crime, they can investigate him and call it ‘Operation: Big Balls’ when they raid his penthouse,” the State Department employee said. What a world we live in!
Do you know Big Balls or other DOGE bros? I can’t believe that’s a serious question… Reach out to me on Signal at 413-726-4767 or [email protected]. I’ll keep you totally anonymous!
|
|
DOGE has been working this week to gut the Department of Education, as Donald Trump mulls shuttering the agency for good. What A Day got exclusive details about their recent scheming.
This week, DOGE announced it canceled 89 contracts worth $881 million. Separately, DOGE also said it canceled 29 training grants for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion worth $101 million.
The 89 contracts were agreed by the department’s Institute of Education Sciences (IES), which aims to provide scientific backing for education practice — in other words, rigorous grounding for the way students are taught.
DOGE has tried to make a public case for its murky actions. The group claimed in a post on X that one contractor was paid $1.5 million to “observe mailing and clerical operations” at a mail center. Another helped students “interrogate the complex histories involved in oppression, and help students recognize areas of privilege and power.” You can view a full list of the canceled contracts here. “Pretty sloppy work by DOGE — no real justifications or coherent descriptions," a senior education official told What A Day.
We also got a copy of DOGE’s recommended talking points, which were given to Department of Education staffers, to be repeated if any pesky lawmakers started asking questions about WTF is going on. DOGE wants department staff to say: “These contracts support the education deep state who take millions of taxpayer funds with NO results for students.”
Some officials are refusing to put their names on the statement, or adding the name of the political appointee who provided the talking points instead, the official said. Hello, Resistance!
|
|
WHAT A SPONSOR
Meet MOSH, a protein bar made for your brain!
Founded by Patrick Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver, each MOSH Bar is made with ingredients that support brain health like Ashwagandha, Lions Mane, Collagen, and Omega-3’s!
And now, Mosh bars come with a NEW look and new formulation— featuring a game-changing, brain-boosting ingredient you won’t find in any other bar. MOSH is now the first and only food brand boosted with Cognizin®, a premium nootropic that supplies the brain with a patented form of citicoline.
Backed by some of the world’s top neuroscientists and functional nutritionists, MOSH Bars come in 10 mouthwatering flavors that taste so amazing you’ll forget they’re actually good for you. The best part? MOSH is mission driven, that’s why they donate a portion of all proceeds to support women’s Alzheimer’s research.
If you’d like to find a way to “give back” and fuel your brain and body, head to http://www.moshlife.com/wad, for 20% off plus free shipping on their original Trial Pack.
Thank you Mosh, for sponsoring this newsletter!
|
|
LOOK NO FURTHER THAN CROOKED MEDIA
In case you didn’t know, Crooked Media has a ton of exclusive content on our YouTube channels -including Rhodes Maps, a foreign policy 101 series hosted by Pod Save The World's Ben Rhodes and producer Alyona Minkovski. In the latest episode, they look at Trump’s plans for mass deportations and changes to the U.S. military—and how history warns us about moves like these. Just searchPod Save the World on YouTube, check out Rhodes Maps, and hit subscribe so you don’t miss out.
|
|
No longer want to receive these emails? Unsubscribe.
Crooked Media 4817 N 56th St Suite 45 Lincoln, Nebraska 68504
|
|
|
|
|
