VIDEO OF THE DAY: Trumpers furiously turn on him over "Epstein files" debacle
MAGAworld got a taste of the contempt and disgust that the Trump administration really feels for them yesterday. Attorney General Pam Bondi invited a bunch of dipshit MAGA influencers like "LibsOfTiktok," "DC Draino," and Russian-paid conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec to the White House, where she handed them binders full of the supposedly unclassified "Epstein files" that they believed would implicate the wealthy clients of the notorious archpedophile. Instead, they found they had been given heavily readacted documents that have already been available publicly for years. The kicker? The House Judiciary Committee account posted a link to the "Epstein files" that turned out to be a Rick Roll. Hilarious, right?! No? Worth noting, some of these GOP jackals are probably IN the Epstein files. The disdain and sheer contempt they have for the very people that put them in power is truly remarkarble, and, unsurprisingly, the blowback on the right is in full swing.

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"Bloated, fat, and disgusting!": Trump closes Cabinet meeting by blasting country that voted him back into office
The MAGA cult leader, a fast-food aficionado who has struggled for years with obesity himself, closed his first Cabinet meeting by blasting the state of America, saying, "The country has gotten bloated, fat and disgusting, and incompetently run." Trump went on to take rambling, incoherent pot shots at his predecessor and talked up Elon Musk's all-out assault on the federal workforce. The wannabe dictator's people will tell you he was speaking metaphorically, of course, but the fraudster always says the quiet part out loud.

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Elon Musk drops money bomb on critical state Supreme Court race
WisDems: There’s a must-win state Supreme Court election in Wisconsin on April 1st — and Elon Musk just dropped half a million dollars into attack ads in an attempt to steal back the court for Republicans and put anti-abortion extremist Brad Schimel into power. Wisconsin is one of the most important swing states in the country and the integrity of our future elections is at serious risk if the GOP retakes control of the state’s highest court. Will you make a donation to Wisconsin Democrats and help stop Elon from buying ANOTHER election with his dark money?

Musk’s DOGE team quietly deletes billions in falsely claimed savings from website
When Phony Stark's cost-cutting crusade, the so-called "Department of Government Efficiency," posted its "wall of receipts" boasting of major savings to the federal budget, the list was billed as the proud public interface of a radical shake-up of the US government. Instead, like much of Musk’s unprecedented engagement with the federal bureaucracy, the initiative has been mired in errors, confusion, and obfuscation. Hey, remember when Elon was just a weird tech bro smoking blunts on podcasts and raving about the myriad virtues of ketamine? Any chance we could roll back the timeline?

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First case of measles reported in Kentucky as US battles spread of disease
Good news for enemies of science and fans of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s rabid anti-vaxx crusade! The newly minted Health and Human Services secretary just picked up his first big win in the Bluegrass State. Stand by for more excited news on previously eradicated diseases set for huge comebacks in 2025 and beyond!

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Andrew Tate and brother Tristan, who face human trafficking and rape charges in Romania, arrive in Florida with an assist from Trump team
Self-proclaimed misogynist social media influencer Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan arrived in the United States on Thursday despite facing rape and human trafficking charges that are still pending in Romania. The Tates, who are outspoken supporters of Donald Trump, landed in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. While the president claimed to have no knowledge of the Tates' release, the ticker tape tells a different story. The Financial Times reported earlier this month that the Trump administration was pushing Romanian authorities to return the Tate brothers' US passports and allow them to leave the country, and Romania's Foreign Minister Emil Hurezeanu told the Euronews outlet recently that Mr. Trump's envoy Richard Grenell had raised the case with him at the Munich Security Conference in mid-February. Wait, we thought we were rounding up all the rapists and kicking them out of the country? Wonder what could possibly be different about these two...

Attorney General Pam Bondi accuses FBI of withholding pages and demands more Jeffrey Epstein documents be released today
The icing on the poopcake on the Epstein files debacle was AG Pam Bondi immediately accusing Kash Patel and the FBI of "withholding" pages from the Epstein files and demanding they release all the documents. The problem, of course, is that now that all the Trumpers are in power, you can't just blame the "deep state" anymore! A very pissed-off and still-super-racist Laura Loomer tweeted, "1 week ago, @PamBondi said 'the Epstein files are on my desk'. Now she’s claiming the “deep state” set her up. What deep state? Trump is in office & all of his cabinet members are bragging about how they fired the deep state!" Donald and his MAGA goons are running into that classic problem of "you can only blame imaginary deep-state, baby-eating goblins for all of America's problems for so long." It turns out even the most delusional conspiracists eventually need to see something resembling results.

Judge says Trump's mass firing of federal employees is illegal and should be stopped
A federal judge in San Francisco says the Trump administration's firing of thousands of probationary employees is illegal and should be stopped. US District Judge William Alsup says the US Office of Personnel Management (OPM) must rescind directives sent to some agencies ordering them to fire their probationary employees — typically those in their first or second year in a job. Alsup issued the temporary restraining order at the end of a hearing on Thursday. His order covers agencies whose firings impact the civic organizations that sued the Trump administration. Those agencies include the Department of Veterans Affairs, the National Park Service, the Small Business Administration, the Bureau of Land Management, the National Science Foundation, and the Department of Defense.

Kevin McCarthy claims America didn't build rockets until Elon Musk arrived
This is a) batshit crazy, b) demonstrably false, and c) apparently what happens when you let worm-addled ideologues ban books and whitewash history. So good to be great again!

Former Biden administration insider admits campaign "gaslighted" public with "denial" of president’s age concerns
You don't say!

Judge orders Trump administration officials to give sworn testimony on DOGE
A federal judge has ordered Trump administration officials involved in Elon Musk’s "opaque" Department of Government Efficiency to testify under oath in one of the sprawling lawsuits seeking to block DOGE’s access to sensitive government databases. US District Judge John Bates agreed Thursday that “very limited” efforts to question officials connected to DOGE would help clarify what exactly the group is doing and whether it poses the risks to sensitive data that government employees fear.