Today, Mitch McConnell announced his official retirement after 40 years in the U.S. Senate.

How will we miss thee, Mitch? Let us count the ways:

1. We’ll miss your impressive ability to stand up straight without a spine.
2. We’ll miss your talent for shameless hypocrisy.
3. We’ll miss your bravery in standing up to Trump only when it doesn’t matter.
4. We’ll miss your commitment to biannual government shutdowns.
5. We’ll miss your support of Donald Trump, a man you’ve publicly called “stupid as well as being ill-tempered,” a “despicable human being” and a “narcissist.”
6. We’ll miss your love of gridlock at the expense of good government.
7. We’ll miss your dedication to your benefactors: billionaires, Big Oil, and corporate profits.

And most of all, Mitch, we’ll miss that beautiful smile of yours.

Click here to add your personal message to our official Goodbye, Mitch Retirement Card. Or, consider chipping in $15 to support Blue Senate’s MAGA Retirement Fund and help us send the entire Senate MAGA into a nice, long retirement.

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