BY MATT BERG
& CROOKED MEDIA

MONDAY
DECEMBER 2, 2024

The bigger the screwup, the bigger the promotion.” 

— Kash Patel, who just got a massive promotion to become Trump's pick for FBI director, [in an unintended self-own]([link removed]).

BEGGING YOUR PARDON

A titanic struggle for the future of the Department of Justice is brewing. Joe Biden’s controversial pardon for his son Hunter, and Trump’s move to install a fire-breathing loyalist at the FBI, both show the battle is heating up. 

- President Joe Biden stunned the left and right with a sweeping pardon for his embattled son Hunter on Sunday night, reneging on repeated promises not to do that very thing. Plenty of politicians and commentators from both sides of the aisle criticized Biden for breaking his promise and moving to protect his son. Yet some argued that President-elect Donald Trump’s clear steps toward weaponizing the Department of Justice against his political enemies mean that Biden’s backflip should be judged against that gathering menace. “Hunter was singled out, and because his last name was Biden,” White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre told reporters today. “The president believed enough is enough.”

- The latest sign of looming danger: Trump picked [right-wing lunatic]([link removed]) Kash Patel — who has minimal DOJ experience, supports shutting down the FBI headquarters, and wrote a children’s book depicting Trump as a king — to be FBI director. The idea of Patel in power is setting off alarm bells. A headline in The Atlantic called it “a constitutional crisis greater than Watergate.” If Patel is confirmed, The xxxxxx’s William Kristol writes, Trump is “obviously off to the authoritarian races.” 

- There are plenty more reasons to be concerned. Last year, Patel said he’d “[come after]([link removed])” journalists, which is one of those moves budding dictatorships love to pull. Patel was an early, vocal backer of the idea that the investigation into the 2016 Trump campaign’s possible ties to Russia was [nothing more than a political hit-job]([link removed]). He has all but frothed with excitement when talking about going after his political opponents. [Here's a handy list]([link removed]) of everyone he wants to prosecute, including Vice President Kamala Harris and the current FBI director. If he scores this job, he’ll bring a dark, punchy, reality-talk-show energy to this normally buttoned-up role, like a walking embodiment of the infamous “[cash me ousside]([link removed])” meme.
 

- So, how does that play into Biden’s surprise move? The scope of Hunter’s pardon shows that the Biden may believe a “[Pam] Bondi-led DOJ and Patel-led FBI could throw the proverbial book at him on additional charges if given the chance,” law professor Kim Wehle [wrote in The xxxxxx]([link removed]), defending Biden’s pardon and arguing for him to do the same for Special Counsel Jack Smith. In other words, a charitable  take would be to say Biden chose to protect his son because of Trump's radical intentions for the Justice Department. At the same time, Biden handed ammunition to critics who will accuse him of giving his son special treatment after he spent years thumping the podium about respecting the decision of the courts.

Patel and the pardon are shaping the latest debate about the DOJ’s future under Trump: Where does this leave the DOJ, for the next four years and the administrations to come? What does it mean for the rule of law in America?  

- Politicians on both sides of the aisle criticized Biden’s move as a presidential overreach, with one Democrat even calling for Congress to revisit the Constitution’s pardon power: “What other father in America has the power to pardon his son or daughter if they’re convicted of a crime?” Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-VA) [told CNN]([link removed]), also noting Republicans’ constant attacks against Hunter.

- Opponents of Biden’s move worry that future presidents will now feel emboldened to hand out pardons like party favors. Hunter likely wouldn't have been granted a pardon [under DOJ criteria]([link removed]) — he hasn’t been sentenced for any crimes, or served any time. (Most people who receive full pardons have already served their sentences.) Politico called the pardon “a rich gift to those who want to blow up the justice system as we know it.” 

- Of course, [Trump made it rain pardons]([link removed]) the last time he had the chance — handing out clemency to top supporters like Paul Manafort and Roger Stone, along with Charles Kushner, the father of Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. Trump was never going to feel restrained, no matter what Biden did. The difference now, perhaps, is that Trump now has a better talking point to publicly justify what he was going to do anyway: Politicize the DOJ. 

Such dark skullduggery could set the DOJ on a slippery slope of retribution and rule-bending for years to come.

FOR PETE’S SAKE

Fox News host Pete Hegseth, Donald Trump’s pick for defense secretary, is facing fresh allegations from multiple former colleagues… and his mom. 

Hegseth was allegedly forced out of a veterans’ group leadership role for his financial mismanagement, sexist behavior, repeatedly being intoxicated on the job — and chanting “kill all Muslims” at a bar, according to a seven-page report by former employees [obtained by The New Yorker]([link removed]). A lawyer for Hegseth said the article was filled with “outlandish claims” by a “jealous disgruntled former associate.”

The report comes days after the New York Times [published an email]([link removed]) from Hegseth’s own mother accusing him of abusing “many” women and said she has “no respect” for him because of the way he treats women. 

She wrote: “I have no respect for any man that belittles, lies, cheats, sleeps around and uses women for his own power and ego. You are that man (and have been for years) and as your mother, it pains me and embarrasses me to say that, but it is the sad, sad truth.” In an interview with the Times, his mom said she apologized for the email soon after.

All I’m sayin’ is it’s bad when your mom pops up in the NYT calling you a terrible person!!

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WHAT ELSE?

[Syrian opposition forces retook territory in the country]([link removed]) over the past week as Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s regime struggled to respond to the surprise offensive. It marks a major turn in Syria’s 13-year-old civil war, which had been largely stagnant since 2020. 
 
[Donald Trump threatened Hamas with “ALL HELL TO PAY”]([link removed]) (in a social media post) if hostages held by the militant group aren’t released by the day he takes office. 
 
[California lawmakers will convene a special session]([link removed]) today to discuss “Trump-proofing” the state’s policies, including a proposed fund of $25 million to deal with potential litigation from the Trump administration. Wheeee lawsuits for everyone! So fun! 
 
[A current Apple employee alleged that the tech giant]([link removed]) spies on its own employees, according to a recently-filed lawsuit. Employees have to give up their right to personal privacy, the lawsuit alleges, claiming that Apple says it’s allowed to “engage in physical, video and electronic surveillance of them” when they’re at home and after they stop working for the company. Apple said that it disagrees with the allegations. 

[Oxford University Press named “brain rot” as its word of the year,]([link removed]) and if you don’t know what that means, that’s either A) great for you, or B) perhaps means you forgot because you’re experiencing it right now, presumably as a result of living through these outrageous, brain-rotting times. [Skibidi toilet Ohio]([link removed]), am I right? Boom, as the Costco Guys say.

Introducing WOODWORKING by Emily St. James - the next release with Crooked Media Reads, coming March 4, 2025. This heartwarming novel follows Erica Skyberg, a trans high school teacher from a small town in South Dakota who befriends the only other trans woman she knows: one of her students. As their unlikely friendship evolves, it comes under the increasing scrutiny of their community. And soon, both women—and those closest to them—are forced to ask: Who are we if we choose to hide ourselves? What happens once we disappear into the woodwork? A tonic for the moment, Woodworking is a remarkable debut from an incisive new contemporary voice and celebration of womanhood in all its multifaceted joy.
 
Learn more at [link removed]
 
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[Three Uyghurs trapped in China were secretly allowed]([link removed]) to leave the country for the United States as part of a prisoner swap last week. One of them, a 73-year-old woman, made it home in time to enjoy Thanksgiving with her two sons who she hadn’t seen in 20 years, and four grandchildren she’d never met. 

[A Wisconsin judge restored collective bargaining powers]([link removed]) to public employees today — a major win for the public workers and teachers unions. Let’s freaking goooooooo. 

[Amazon data centers that need lots of energy to run]([link removed]) could soon implement AI to help offset the environmental impact, via carbon capture machines that separate carbon from hot air exhaust, Semafor reports.  

[Pitchfork named Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us”]([link removed]) the best song of 2024. It was named worst song of the year by Drake. 

 
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