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Hey there,
I don’t mean to worry you – but the apocalypse is nigh!
I know, I know. You’ve been hearing false alarms your whole life from doomsday
cults and Greta Thunberg.
But THIS warning is no joke: with the imminent threats of climate change,
alien invasion, zombie attacks, dangerous MAGA terrorists, and other countless
scenarios, the world could literally end before you finish reading this
sentence.
Oh good – it looks like it didn’t.
But that doesn’t mean you’re safe!
Claim you FREE Guide to the Apocalypse today and learn how to survive any
end-times situation, from the coming communist takeover to the rise of
AI-powered death robots. It’s the only way to be prepared!
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This book includes nearly everything you’ll need to live through the
apocalypse, including:
* Handy attack moves to fight off zombies, commies, and other brainless
monsters
* Easy bunker construction guides so you can get started building your own
apocalypse safe space today
* Interior decorating tips that will wow any guests in your 50-story
underground nuclear silo
* Weapon assembly DIY guides on how to put together the very best tools for
fighting off all kinds of post-apocalyptic horrors
* Funny stick figures
* And as a Premium Member, you'll also receive exclusive access to the
Babylon Bee's newJanuary 6: The Most Deadliest Day movie.
Other how-to books just tell you we’re doomed, and the collapse of Western
Civilization is imminent and leave you to your own devices.
But the Babylon Bee’s Guide to the Apocalypse goes further and gives you the
tools you need to survive it.
And, hey – if you don’t buy a copy, it’s not like it’s the end of the world.
Except IT IS! So become a Babylon Bee Premium Subscriber TODAY for as little
as $7 per month and get this most(ly) useful guide to the end of the world - as
well as exclusive access to ourJanuary 6: The Most Deadliest Day movie - as a
thank you for your support.
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%FIRST NAME%, if you want to live, you’ll find simple instructions for
survival in this book.
One hundred percent useful information like…
…reports from the multiverse where we have an intrepid reporter on the ground
telling you how the world ends in every possible universe…
…attractive infographics and charts on EVERY page that even YOU can understand…
… and helpful financial tips for what kind of currency and precious metals to
hoard for the end of the world.
So, if Revelation gave you nightmares as a child, rest easy.
Subscribe today as a Premium Member to the Babylon Bee, and we’ll send you the
Guide to the Apocalypse for FREE. Plus, gain exclusive access to the Babylon
Bee'sJanuary 6: The Most Deadliest Day movie, available only to our premium
members!
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Thanks for subscribing – before it’s too late.
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Seth Dillon
CEO| The Babylon Bee
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