“The other day while I was putting my 8-year-old daughter, Eva, to bed, she let out a sigh, looked at me, and said, ‘Being a big sister is a lot of responsibility.’ My heart immediately sank,” writes Ashley Ziegler. “This is a weight many oldest siblings carry, but I worry that Eva’s feels a little heavier because her little sister is autistic, which has required Eva to adapt in ways that, frankly, aren’t always fair. And while she never hesitates to step in and help with her sister (often without even being asked), I never want her to feel like it’s her job to be her sister’s caretaker.”

Here’s how Ashley is drawing boundaries while encouraging compassion.

It happens to us all, at one time or another. Your sibling, your best friend, maybe even your own parent or kid, brings home a new partner — and you simply cannot stand them. Maybe they keep bringing up the fact that they have money, or they’re rude to the waiter, or the arrogance is just leaking out of their pores. Whatever the case, you’re all good, thanks. Here’s how to handle it, according to a therapist.