Fellow American,

Squeak, Squeak, Squeak…

It's the MAGA Squirrel, with some absolutely NUTTY news for you.

FIRST - They let in millions of illegal immigrants to eat my dog and cat friends.

THEN - They raided an animal shelter like a drug stash house, arrested, and EXTERMINATED my old friend, Peanut the Squirrel.

NOW - ALL OF US PETS ARE FEARING FOR OUR LIVES! WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Before I scurry into hiding up a tree for the winter, I need to know I won't be HUNTED DOWN and EUTHANIZED by the Radical Left in the springtime.

Election Day is TODAY, and it sure seems like the only humans who care about animal lives are those lovely MAGA Movement folks. On behalf of the MAGA Pets who love LIVING with our humans, can you chip in $20 before midnight to help Republicans win?

I, like many people who are coming to learn, knew that Peanut the Squirrel was a good pet who loved to play with his human and make fun videos. The Radical Left is the BIGGEST THREAT to pets since the British Pet Massacre…

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! There's NOTHING a-corny about this email; we need your help!

Nuts about MAGA,

The MAGA Squirrel