To: Our Favorite Son From: The Liberal Media Dearest Robert Francis (Beto) O’Rourke, We, the liberal media, love you so much. Your decision to run for President after being rejected by Texas voters is oh so brave. You gracefully shout exactly what America needs from the top of tables, bars, and anything else you can stand on: open borders, socialist medicine, and on-demand abortion… we just can’t get enough. Beto, your loathing for President Trump makes you our best shot. Our favorite son. Our obsession. We, the liberal media, think Texans share your desire to no longer criminalize illegal border crossings. They want the Green New Deal. We even agree with your notion that Americans want Donald Trump impeached. Beto, we love you. We’re perfect for each other. So, Beto, don’t worry about the fact that Texas voters have already rejected you once… Because as far as we, the liberal media, can see, you’re our hero and you can do anything. All our love, The Liberal Media |
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