Are there secrets to a happy and secure marriage? That’s a tough question to answer.
Whenever stories pop up about long-married couples — 60, 70, even 80 years — the reporter always asks the same question or a variation thereof: “What’s your secret?”
Every couple wants there to be a secret. They walk down the aisle believing they’re committing themselves to a person who will fill their life with joy and fulfillment. And yet, many of these couples reach out to Focus on the Family, struggling because their marriage isn’t making them as happy as they expected. And they’re often surprised to learn that the secret to happiness isn’t luck, good chemistry, or fiery intimacy. It’s not even a bad memory, as some long-married couples often suggest.
As a Christian, I don’t believe you create a “happy marriage.” Instead, you create a strong marriage centered in Christ, and happiness is the result. Security comes from a rock-ribbed commitment, an assurance to your spouse they don’t need to walk around on eggshells.
According to Dr. John Gottman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder of the Gottman Relationship Institute, there are several things to consider when gauging the health of your marriage.
Originally published in Higher Ground. | 
