Hi,

This is Chris, Andrea’s husband. I’m going to share a story with you that I’ve never talked about publicly — because given the stakes of this upcoming election, I believe it’s important to contribute to this critical conversation.

After being married for a few years, Andrea and I, like many young couples, made the very personal decision to start a family. I can still remember the moment she told me one morning coming back to bed that maybe the migraine she had been suffering from had something to do with her being pregnant. It was hard not to burst with excitement even though she wasn’t feeling well.

That excitement grew over the next few weeks as we settled into the planning and preparation and counted down to the due date. We talked about how our lives would change and, as all prospective parents do, imagined what our child would be like.

All of that ended abruptly one morning when I got a call from Andrea following her week 10 doctor’s appointment. They could no longer detect a heartbeat. She had had a miscarriage. We were devastated. We went into this experience with a great deal of thought and deliberation but the emotional attachment so early into it caught me off guard.

All of this was very personal and private — we hadn’t even told our friends and family that Andrea was pregnant. We had each other to lean on and we decided that even through this loss, we were still committed to having a family. Fortunately, Andrea was able to get pregnant again and we started the process all over again, albeit with a bit more trepidation. We made it through the first trimester this time and felt confident in sharing the news with our friends and family and started to allow ourselves to feel the same excitement as before.

One Saturday afternoon, we were preparing to walk to our friend’s house for a summer BBQ. I knocked on our bathroom door to see if Andrea was ready to go and I could hear her crying. She opened the door and told me that she was miscarrying. We were devastated again. It was the longest weekend while we waited for Andrea to see our doctor to confirm what we suspected.

On Monday, I got a call from Andrea following her appointment. There was a heartbeat! The fetus was still viable. There was a subchorionic hemorrhage that had caused bleeding leading us to believe that it was a miscarriage. This made the pregnancy uncertain. The next few months consisted of us holding our breath at every appointment, waiting to confirm there was still a strong heartbeat.

In December of 2004, our daughter Amelia was born. She was a fighter, and seeing Andrea hold her in her arms, worn from almost 24 hours of labor but with a look of pure love and exhaustion, was perhaps the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Our experience, while difficult, ended happily. For many couples the struggle is much more severe, the pregnancies much more complex and the outcomes don’t always end well. We were fortunate to be able to have each other along with the guidance and care of remarkable medical professionals to help us navigate and manage this experience.

That is how these decisions should be made. They are private and personal, and everyone’s experiences are different. They should be guided by their own values and consciences along with the consultation of their trusted medical providers.

You don’t need me to tell you that there are politicians in this country — including right here in OR-06 — who want to take away our ability to make these decisions for ourselves, who want to insert themselves into these deeply personal and heartbreaking moments that so many families face.

It should ALWAYS be the woman’s choice and she should ALWAYS have the freedom to make those decisions. I believe that, Andrea believes that, and if you believe it too, then I humbly ask that you remain as engaged as possible every single day between now and Nov. 5, because the stakes are just so high. Donate, volunteer, spread the word, and, most importantly, vote.

Thank you,

Chris Ramey