Jean and I recognized early on in our parenting that our boys, Trent and Troy, needed to be parented differently. They were — and are — individuals. They each had their own personalities, needs, and interests. Sometimes that was a challenge to navigate. They did share one thing in common with each other — and with your children: the desire to be heard and valued.
Listening to the heart of your children is key to being an effective parent and having a strong relationship with them as they grow into adulthood. But it requires good communication skills.
Joining me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly is author Becky Harling, talking about her book How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk: Deepen Your Connection and Strengthen Their Confidence. Becky will help you guide your children in identifying their feelings, asking the right questions, and learning to communicate with you and with God.
She once invited a group of parents to ask their children, “When are you most likely to talk to me?” While their answers varied, two things rose to the surface:
- Nonverbal communication — which comprises between 60% and 75% of the impact of a message — matters to kids.
- They want undivided attention.
That information helped Becky realize that body language and emotional reactions could tell her how her child was feeling. She needed to listen to what was being said as well as what was not being said.
In our conversation, she highlights tips for promoting healthy conversation:
- Make it fun, not full of pressure.
- Keep it comfortable; don’t expect eye contact.
- Choose the right time and place to ask questions.
- Guard your response; don’t judge their answers.
Becky will explain how to do all of that and more. Tune in on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or on our free phone app.
Becky Harling’s book How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk: Deepen Your Connection and Strengthen Their Confidence is available for a gift of any amount. Click here for more information or give us a call at 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).
