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German Navy's Galactic Groove: Commander's Love for Star Wars Sparks Controversy

In a display that sent shockwaves throughout Europe's capitals, a German naval vessel blasted Darth Vader's ominous imperial march while sailing up the iconic River Thames in London earlier this week. A stunned observer caught the dramatic scene on camera, sending the internet into overdrive with speculation about hidden messages behind the cinematic serenade.

However, officials quickly dispelled rumors of ulterior motives behind the soundtrack selection. According to a German Navy spokesperson, “the commander can choose the music freely," emphasizing that “there [was] no deeper message” attached to the Star Wars anthem. It seems the commander simply wanted to flex their love for intergalactic drama during the routine port-of-call visit.

Further investigation revealed that before docking at Tower Pier, the same ship had also treated locals to The Clash's punk-rock classic "London Calling", featuring eerie verses like "London calling to the zombies of death / Quit holding out and draw another breath". Coincidence or a clever cultural nod? We'll never know.

As fate would have it, the sleek warship, aptly christened after the charming town of Braunschweig in northern Germany, boasts a skipper who wears their geek badge proudly on their sleeve. Per sources close to the mission, "[t]he commander... is a big 'Star Wars' fan and an admirer of the legendary musical scores of John Williams." Moreover, they've developed quite the habit: "He chooses a different Williams tune whenever his ship is visiting a foreign harbor."

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Sam Bennett