Preparing for DNC Lie Fest

The “Top Ten Corrections to Lies About Trump That You’ll Likely Hear at the DNC”

Gov. Mike Huckabee | 8-19-2024

My staffers are threatening to mutiny at the thought of having to watch four nights of the Democratic Convention this week. But they know it’s our duty to watch this garbage so you don’t have to, so we’ll suffer through it, just as I’ll have to suffer through their demands for a raise, or at least hazardous duty pay.

What to expect? There could be some surprises, due to all the crazy pro-Hamas protesters and the chance that a resentful Joe Biden will go off-Teleprompter. (Note that Chicago removed the homeless people and is imposing war zone-level security to keep all the crazy pro-Palestinian protesters far away from the venue and the cameras. See, Nancy Pelosi knows how to okay a heavy police presence when she DOESN’T want a televised riot.) But most of it is very predictable:

We’ll see blue state Governors being cheered by the crowd and praised by the network anchors, despite the residents of their states fleeing them like they’re on fire (California actually is, most of the time.) We’ll see them attempting to put on happy faces and paper over more inter-family drama than you’ll find in a DVD box set of “Dynasty.” We’ll hear plenty of balloon juice about “saving democracy” and “voter suppression” from a party that just disenfranchised 14 million of its own voters so that party elites could anoint a candidate who didn’t get a single vote. Even New York Times liberal columnist Maureen Dowd admitted that Harris’ coronation is a “coup” (or in Kamala's case, a “coup-coup.”)

We’ll hear plenty of denigrating of Trump’s record and how we must never go back to those dark days of energy independence, low inflation, rising wages, secure borders, world peace, $1.89 gas and the Democrats not being in power. (It’s that last part that they really hate, even though it was a major contributor to all the rest.) They’ll warn that if Trump returns, we’ll see more “chaos,” meaning riots, groundless investigations and all the other chaos they created and blamed on Trump.

Most predictably, expect to hear a LOT of lies. You’ll hear about the miraculous accomplishments and booming economy of Biden/Harris (Who you gonna believe; them or your lying bank balance?) You’ll hear that the economy was on life support and inflation was 9% when Biden took office (it was actually strongly rebounding from the pandemic shutdowns and inflation was 1.6% -- it took 18 months of Bidenomics to get GDP growth down and inflation up to 9%.) You’ll hear about how Republicans hate “immigrants,” without making the distinction between actual immigrants and up to 20 million illegal aliens, some of them dangerous criminals and terrorists. And of course, you'll probably hear that Republicans want to bring back slavery (after leading a Civil War to end it) and force women to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

But mostly, I predict you’ll hear lies about Donald Trump. And I doubt there will even be any new ones. It will mostly be the same list of hoaxes that have been long-debunked, some even by liberal fact-checkers and media outlets. To save my writers having to correct these lies over and over every night, we’re going to correct them in advance. These are the “Top Ten Corrections to Lies About Trump That You’ll Likely Hear at the DNC.”

1. Trump’s 2016 campaign did not collude with Russia. They wasted $30 million of our tax money investigating that groundless accusation.

2. Trump did not incite his followers to riot or attack police on January 6^th, 2021. He told them to protest “peacefully and patriotically,” and after the riot started, he urged them to obey the police and leave quietly.

3. Trump did not try to grab the wheel of the Presidential limo and force his driver to take him to the Capitol on January 6^th. That’s now been debunked by all the alleged witnesses.

4. Trump never said there were “very fine people” among the neo-Nazis at Charlottesville; he actually said those people “should be condemned totally.”

5. Trump did not refuse to visit a US military cemetery in France because, he said, the soldiers there were “suckers and losers.” The trip was canceled because the weather was too dangerous for his helicopter to take off; and the “Suckers and losers” quote was refuted by everyone present, including people who are not Trump fans.

6. Trump never said he planned to be a dictator from day one if reelected. He scoffed at the accusation, then joked that he would be a dictator for only one day, when he'd order the border sealed and oil companies to “drill, baby, drill.” Joking about being a dictator for one day and vowing to be a dictator from day one are two very different things.

7. Trump did not say there would be a “bloodbath” if he didn’t win. He said there would be a bloodbath (financial) in the auto industry if Biden did win.

8. Trump never suggested that Americans inject or drink bleach to fight COVID. Seriously, did anyone really believe that one?

9. Trump’s platform is called Agenda 47, not Project 2025. That’s a Heritage Foundation initiative that Trump had nothing to do with and has dismissed.

10. Trump does not back a federal abortion ban; he agrees with the Supreme Court that it’s a state issue.

There are many other debunked lies about Trump that are as worn-out as Columbo’s raincoat, but if we could just edit those 10 out of all the speeches we’re about to hear, they could probably wrap this convention up in two hours. If you must watch this Super Bowl of hooey, then print this list out and have it by your chair. However, I would not suggest turning it into a game by taking a drink every time you hear one, or you might die of alcohol poisoning.

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