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Hey ,
49 turns around the sun and things are only getting more interesting. It's been a year of unraveling and discovering. Here's what I've learned:
1) WHEN YOU REALLY LET IT GO, THE WORLD WILL SHOW ITSELF TO YOU. A year ago this week, I put all my shit in storage and hit the road. At the time I didn’t know who I was, where I belonged, what my role was in the world. I just knew that something needed to shift. And so I shifted it. It was a year of untangling myself from delusions of security, material attachments, expectations of self and others, comfort and familiarity. And the life that I got to live in return was beyond my wildest dreams. 🌈
2) THERE ARE SOME THINGS I'M NOT READY TO LET GO OF. This has been the hardest lesson for me. That there are some toxic patterns that I am just not ready to relinquish. It's taught me not only about the power of addiction, but that there are very real and legitimate needs that underline my attachments. Healing doesn't cut like a knife, it responds to what is needed and repairs the hurt. I'm learning to listen and love my pain and my shame as the beginning of that process. 🌱
3) SELF LOVE CAN BE COMPLICATED. I’ve always struggled with self love. I thought it had to be pure, uncomplicated, optimistic and self sufficient. But I'm noticing that there is a deeper tenderness in grief, accountability, loss of control and needing help. Self love is letting yourself fall apart and meeting yourself without judgement or shame. Those are the moments where I really show myself and show up for myself. ❤️🩹
4) GOOD QUESTIONS ARE MORE VALUABLE THAN RIGHT ANSWERS. These days it seems like everyone has a hot take and expert opinion about everything. But the older I get, the more I am learning to pause and allow things to unfold and reveal themselves, to listen for what is needed not for what is right, and to respond not for the sake of responding, but for what is loving and generative. ❔
5) THESE TIMES REQUIRE SOBRIETY (AND DANCING). The world is happening to us so hard and fast right now. There is no one right way for how we show up or take action. Rather, we need to build the courage and capacity to be present with things that are difficult and face our reality with maturity, discernment, accountability and compassion. From this place we can dance with life - not from a place of control but from a place of resonance and creativity. 💃
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