Other Republicans scrambled after their dear leader down the new conspiracy theory rabbit hole.

• Rep. Nancy Mace (R-NC) suggested the conviction was a smoke screen, tweeting: “Timing is everything. This is the veil of fairness in the justice system under @Potus.” (She then deleted the post, without explaining why.) Right-wing activist and Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk wrote that “the true crimes of the Biden Crime Family remain untouched. This is a fake trial trying to make the Justice System appear ‘balanced.’” The far-right former Trump White House advisor Stephen Miller wondered why the DOJ didn’t charge Hunter Biden with “any crime connected with foreign corruption. Why? Because all the evidence would lead back to JOE.”

• To reiterate: the new idea is that President Biden let his son be convicted of crimes, to cover up his own radical corruption. And it's all part of his flagrant abuse of the Department of Justice. 

After all, that’s the only way to explain why Trump caught four criminal cases… isn’t it?

We just learned what Justice Samuel Alito and his wife, Martha-Ann, talk about when they think we can’t hear them. And it’s… pretty gnarly.

In a secretly taped conversation, Martha-Ann Alito ranted about “femnazis,” threatened the media, and fantasized about hanging up a new flag every week to antagonize the LGBTQ+ community, including a flag that (bizarrely) would say “shame” in Italian.

The wife of Justice Alito has been in the headlines for flying flags associated with the Jan. 6, 2021 insurrection over two of the family’s homes. She and her husband have now been caught on tape by undercover liberal documentary filmmaker Lauren Windsor, in remarks first reported by Rolling Stone. Windsor met the couple earlier this month at the Supreme Court Historical Society’s annual dinner, a hotspot for right-wing activists looking to influence the court. 

In one of her strangest outbursts, Martha-Ann Alito exclaimed: “Look at me, look at me. I’m German, from Germany. My heritage is German. You come after me. I’m gonna give it back to you. And there will be a way, it doesn’t have to be now, but there will be a way they will know. Don’t worry about it.” I thought we had all collectively agreed after World War II that no one was allowed to brag about having German heritage again. 

Justice Alito also had some ominous things to say, telling Windsor that “one side of the other is going to win … There are differences on fundamental things that really can’t be compromised. They really can’t be compromised.” He also agreed with Windsor when she said the US needed to return to being a “place of godliness.”

The prosecutor who nailed Trump in New York, Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, agreed to testify before Congress in July. Bragg will appear before the House Oversight Committee, which is chaired by Rep. Jim Jordan (R-OH). Jordan LOVES to yammer on about the “weaponization of the federal government” while himself weaponizing the federal government against anyone he doesn’t like. Love these guys!

Rudy Giuliani insisted he’s “very, very proud” of his efforts to flip Arizona’s 2020 presidential election to Trump. Arizona Secretary of State Adrian Fontes clapped back: “I stopped taking Rudy Giuliani seriously after the ‘Borat’ tape” — meaning the time when Giuliani got caught with his hand down his pants in “Borat Subsequent Moviefilm.”

The Biden campaign is weaponizing Trump’s recent remarks to a Las Vegas rally, when Trump declared: “I don’t care about you, I just want your vote.” By Monday, Biden’s team had plastered the clip in a fresh ad all over social media.

Even Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (R-GA) Republican colleagues in Congress are growing fed up with her antics, according to CNN. Greene has repeatedly tried to get Biden impeached, and asked House Speaker Mike Johnson to shut down the government. “This is supposed to be a collaborative body … and she doesn’t play nice in the sandbox,” Rep. Carlos Giménez (R-FL) said. You know it’s bad when even other House Republicans are like: “Hey…cool it.” 

Georgia Republican congressional candidate Chuck Hand (who, wouldn’t ya know it, is also a January 6 convict) stormed out of a televised primary debate on Sunday after his opponent brought up Hand’s history of criminal trespassing and DUI charges (subsequently dismissed, but who’s counting). Hand is one of four Republicans running for Congress this year who were convicted of crimes related to the 2021 insurrection. Cool country!!! 

Trump’s advisors are considering the idea of introducing mandatory military service, the Washington Post reported. Trump called the report “untrue,” and slammed the Post as “degenerate.” But he lies about everything, so take that for what it’s worth. 

A federal judge struck down several parts of a Florida law banning gender-affirming care for minors. U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle wrote that “gender identity is real,” and puberty blockers and hormone treatments, which Florida banned, are part of a “widely accepted standard of care.”

African elephants seem to call each other by unique names, according to a new study. Each elephant’s name is apparently encoded in the ultra-low frequency rumbles, which can be heard from long distances across the Savannah. Let’s just let the elephants take over; I think human beings have done enough damage!