I write to you this morning from a much better state of mind than last week. I started physical therapy this past week and it's helping me make tangible progress.

I really like my surgeon but "walk as much as you feel like walking" is sorta like being thrown into the deep end and told to "swim" when you don't know how. Anyway, I started PT on Wednesday and it was not a lot of fun.

But...

I got guidance. I got a list of things to do. I got an idea of how much to do, what I could do, and what I shouldn't do. It helped so much to have some guidelines and to be shown the desired stride. Plus my PT lady is super nice, like a tiny little elfin cheerleader.

The night of PT, I was in massive pain. It was pretty terrible. I was surprised to get up the next morning and be at a tolerable level of pain. I dutifully did my strengthening exercises, crutched around with a stride that doesn't yet feel natural, and by the end of the day realized I was getting around a little bit better.

I'm still only in the partial weight-bearing stage but I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm finally able to get out my door without help, and I can stand there for a few minutes and breathe in the sweet, sultry summer air. I walk with crutches three times a day for approximately five minutes. I can feel my steps getting smoother and it's much closer to walking than it was last week.

And the biggest accomplishment of all?

I.

TOOK.

A.

SHOWER.

BY.

MYSELF.

In, out, the whole nine yards while home alone. (I had a phone nearby in case I needed to call my next-door friend for help.) It was utterly exhausting to get in and out, but I managed it safely, and it felt like I had just graduated to adulthood or something. I immediately took a nap and then told everyone I know.

I have taken many things for granted over the years. The ability to go where I want, when I want. Being able to walk for hours without being tired. Being able to handle basic tasks alone. Accessing any building with ease. I never even thought about how lucky I was to be mobile.

This has been a difficult experience but I now completely understand the mindset of readers who have said that certain things aren't possible for them. There's not always a workaround. We just have to do the best we can with the tools available to us and recognize our limitations. This is a topic I'll be writing more about later.

To be clear, I'm still not very mobile. I'm only able to be on my feet for fifteen minutes, scattered over the day. But it's a "step" (pun intended) in the right direction.

I hope you all had a fantastic week.

Love,
Daisy

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