Rubin had been in prison for about ten years, the last six of which were in restricted housing—or as prisoners refer to it: The Hole. Rubin explained to me that he had reached a state of utter hopelessness: he could not even imagine an existence outside of a cage.
There was no loving family waiting for Rubin if he ever got out of prison. There never had been. He’d been raised in an abusive environment, and much of his life had been filled with trauma and loss. So whenever his anger and depression became unmanageable, it was easier to blame the officers for his problems.
“I was crazy,” Rubin told me. “I was so angry from all that time in the Hole, and angry about everything that had happened in my life. I couldn’t think straight anymore, and I had nothing to look forward to. So I made trouble for the officers. I flooded my cell. I broke windows. I gang-warred non-stop with them.”"
