In my book Meaning in the Moment, I include a ritual for ‘After An Important Person Leaves.’ It is a great one to use for marking the empty nest. In fact, I wish I did something like it when my kids started full-time public school. It’s not only for kids leaving, but also for a friend moving across the country. I remember a quote from a book I read years ago while I was living in Paraguay: “Leaving a friend is like a death; it calls for grieving.” I wish I knew who wrote it because my life experience has proved its truth.
Here are three things that an Empty Nest Ritual requires:
- An Empty Nest Ritual requires community. Enacted with friends, it invites others into the joy and grief so they can journey with us well in our new family season.
- An Empty Nest Ritual requires thoughtful reflection. There are benefits of the relationship with our children that continue in spite of their newfound distance apart from us, and those that are lost due to the distance. Spending time distinguishing the two will be critical for your family to enter into a new season.
- An Empty Nest Ritual requires symbols. Things like a treasured family photo of all of us together, and candles to symbolize the light of the life of the person(s) who left help us remember the benefits that continue, and those that are lost.
We want to release our kids to journey bravely into the world, to become fully themselves in maturing into whomever God wants them to be. An ‘Empty Nest Ritual’ helps us empower them to do just that. It also helps us process the myriad of emotions parents experience as their beloved children leave the safety of the family nest.
~Amy Davis Abdallah, excerpted from “Empty Nest: How a Ritual Helps Us Process the Losses and Gains of Our Kids Leaving Home,”
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