Dear John,
I have been spending more time with Mom over the past year, and the times we’ve shared have been some of my most cherished moments. She just turned 101, and is a treasure trove of knowledge, experiences, and wisdom gained over 10 decades of living in “simpler times.”
Yet her life has been anything but simple, coming from little means and void of modern conveniences. Our conversations bring many lessons, and I savor each minute learning from her and value her more and more for who she is.
What does knowledge sound like? It is Mom's voice – not Alexa's – that speaks to me. She knows the context of Chinese words. For example, among my Toisan friends, taking off your jacket can be said two ways depending on if one is fully de-clothing or not. She can also describe how one is perceived when using certain words (i.e. peasant v. elite). This comes from a woman who barely completed her first year of middle school!
What does experience sound like? Hardly a recitation of a resumé, Mom's experience is about being active in her life, especially for survival in her native village in China where she fetched water daily. Any food was derived from the land (rice eaten as a grain and milled by hand into flour). So many counted on her for their own survival, and I am certain this brought tremendous humility.
What does wisdom sound like? A sage Mom. Her insights about people and their motivations are keen, I am sure, because of the experiences that shaped her. She is perceptive beyond comprehension sometimes, because Mom is not a judgmental person. She does believe in karma, and in some respects, her wisdom has a spiritual aspect that is very much about our purpose in this life.
I believe everyone possesses knowledge, experience, and wisdom that encyclopedias and history books do not cover, regardless of our walk of life. What a world this would be if we could listen to and learn about others through their knowledge, experience, and wisdom.
We void a little bit of ourselves when we allow older adults to live in isolation. Respecting our older adults is respecting ourselves, and on this Mother’s Day, I hope we can all recommit to fostering quality, intergenerational social connections with our elders.
Happy Mother’s Day,
Betty
