Monday, April 15, 2024
BY JULIA CLAIRE & CROOKED MEDIA
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- Fox News’s resident mathematician Jesse Waters talking about what amounts to a $41,600 salary before taxes
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Iran launched an attack on Israel in response to Israel’s earlier strike on an Iranian consulate, as the Middle East lurched closer to an all-out regional war. The question now becomes how Israel will respond.
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Iran’s retaliatory strike on Saturday brought the two countries’ long-running shadow conflict bursting into the light. The move followed Israel’s April 1 airstrike on an Iranian diplomatic outpost in the Syrian capital of Damascus that killed two senior Iranian generals. Israeli officials said the Iranian attack included more than 300 missiles and drones, and the incident marks the first time Iran had launched a direct attack on Jerusalem. Yet despite the large show of firepower, the Iranian barrage did very little damage. Twenty-five of the 30 cruise missiles launched toward Israel were intercepted by Israeli fighter jets, and none were able to enter the country. Israel Defense Forces spokesperson Rear Adm. Daniel Hagari said a “few” of the nearly 120 ballistic missiles fired towards the country fell inside its borders, causing slight damage to infrastructure on the Nevatim Air Force Base, which remains fully operational.
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The assault critically injured a 10-year-old girl, but caused no other casualties, according to Hagari. U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin said in a statement late Saturday that the U.S. military shot down “dozens” of missiles headed for Israel from Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen. The statement, in part, read: “We condemn these reckless and unprecedented attacks by Iran and its proxies, and we call on Iran to immediately halt any further attacks, including from its proxy forces, and to de-escalate tensions. We do not seek conflict with Iran, but we will not hesitate to act to protect our forces and support the defense of Israel.”
A chorus of international leaders urged Israel to proceed with restraint. United Nations Secretary-General António Guterres said it was time to “step back from the brink” of further escalation in the region as tensions remain white-hot. On Monday evening, four U.S. officials told NBC News that they expect an Israeli military response to be limited in scope and involve strikes against Iranian military forces and Iranian-backed proxies outside of the country.
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In the mood for unexpectedly sore abs from laughing too hard? Tune into Lovett or Leave It’s mini series, What A Weekday. Every Tuesday, Jon Lovett sits down with Crooked staffers to make fun of the latest news to come out of our insane political nightmare factory: cue Trump pretending he won't sign a National Abortion Ban! You can catch What A Weekday and a bunch of other exclusive content on Lovett or Leave It’s YouTube channel.
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The Supreme Court announced on Monday that it would not hear Mckesson vs. Doe, leaving in place a lower court decision that effectively eliminates the right to mass protest in three states: Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas. The lower court decision ruled that a protest organizer is liable for potentially life-ruining financial consequences if even one attendee at a mass protest breaks the law. The Court did not embrace—but crucially, nor did it reverse—the Fifth Circuit decision attacking the First Amendment right to protest. It’s one step further to what Crooked contributor Max Fisher calls “state-level electoral autocracy” that’s advanced in the United States with frightening speed.
The right-wing Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals represents the three aforementioned states, and is overseen by ultra right-wing Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. Black Lives Matter activist (and host of Crooked’s Pod Save the People) DeRay Mckesson organized a protest near a Baton Rouge, LA police station in 2016 after the fatal police shooting of Alton Sterling, and the Fifth Circuit has been on something of a myopic crusade against him ever since. At the 2016 protest, an unknown individual threw an unidentified rock-like object at a police officer (identified in official documents only as “Officer John Doe”) and suffered head, tooth, jaw, and brain injuries. The Fifth Circuit’s ruling could make protest organizers liable for what dissenting Fifth Circuit Judge Don Willett called the “unlawful acts of counter-protesters and agitators.” In layman's terms: a progressive organizer like Mckesson could also be held financially responsible if a MAGA chud shows up and breaks the law. It’s a disastrous ruling all-around, overtly meant to suppress any left-leaning protests in three deep-red states.
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The first criminal prosecution of a former U.S. president began in Manhattan on Monday. And you’ll never guess which former president it was!! Disgraced former president Donald Trump appeared in a Manhattan courtroom on Monday as prospective jurors were questioned, and dozens more were dismissed after it was determined that they could not be impartial. Trump appeared to nod off at times, closing his eyes as his defense attorneys and state prosecutors sparred over preliminary matters. But he watched closely as prospective jurors were questioned. The trial will not be televised, and photos from inside the courthouse are only permitted before official court proceedings begin. As he left the courthouse, Trump gave a perfunctory “It’s a political witch hunt,” statement to reporters waiting outside. Jury selection will continue on Tuesday.
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