I'm an optimist.

Sometimes, I get down and depressed. Yes, it's human nature, but I've always been a bit more prone to serious depression than some folks. As anyone who has ever dealt with "the black dog" (as Winston Churchill called it) knows, it is a deep, suffocating kind of darkness that is impossible to describe to those who have never been in that place.

This may sound like it's in opposition to my statement that I'm an optimist, but it's not. In fact, it's by the very nature of optimism that I'm able to pull myself out of that awful place.

When you're going through a horrible hard time, my best advice is the following:

Give yourself a schedule and mark it with certain actions.

For example, I get up at about the same time every day. I get dressed, though I'm not leaving the house. I make coffee and get my work done first thing. I reward myself by doing something enjoyable after that, like reading entertainment news or something equally inane. I eat lunch and dinner at about the same time each day, and end by taking a shower and shutting off my devices for the rest of the night.

Make your life easier.

When times are hard, use shortcuts. Mental tiredness is every bit as detrimental as physical tiredness. So, at times when you're struggling, get the bagged salad, the pre-cooked rotisserie chicken, and the frozen veggies. Make keeping good habits in your life as easy as possible. Keep healthy eating simple. Use easy systems for cleaning. Have a clean laundry basket if you can't put it away. (Don't just leave it on the floor.) Make your life easier to support yourself in getting the rest you need to recover.

Find things you can do.

One of the problems leading to the overwhelming sadness I'd been dealing with was that I couldn't do my normal activities. Finally, I was inspired to focus on things I can do right now, such as working on my novel. (I'm posting it every couple of weeks on The OP to keep myself accountable.) I organized my closets by putting the contents on a wheeled cart, which I pulled over to the sofa and sorted out into proper containers. I'm increasing my language studies. I'm spending at least an hour every day reading or watching something educational. I'm making myself better in every way that I can and it feels good to have some accomplishements.

Take time to grieve.

When something bad happens, whether it's a life-changing injury, job loss, the breakup of a relationship, or the loss of a family member, don't force yourself to soldier through like everything is A-OK. What you don't deal with now you will have to deal with later. This stuff doesn't just go away. You're human, and it's absolutely normal to be sad when you've lost someone or something. In fact, I encourage you to lean into it and take some time to just feel it. It's the healthiest way to handle your feelings.

But put a clock on this based on the severity of the loss and the urgency of other matters in your life. It might be a couple of days for some events or a couple of weeks (or more) for others. There's a reason that the Victorian era had a mourning period when someone died. The important thing, after feeling your feelings, is not to get mired in them. Set a goal of doing X after a specific amount of time has elapsed, and get on with your changed life at that point.

This is the formula that helps me begin to see things in color again after seeing only black and white during the bad times. One morning, I wake up and I can hear the birds again, I notice the sun shining through the window, and I feel lighter and happier.

If you aren't a person who deals with depression, I hope this provides some insight if you have loved ones who do. If you're concerned that the person you love is thinking about hurting themselves, please get them the help that they need to deal with this. It's important to note that not everyone handles a depressive episode in the same way, and my suggestions are what works for me - they aren't universal. We all have to work through things in our own ways.

There are so many beautiful little things in the world and so many lovely moments. If you can focus on this - on recognizing them and creating them - it will help you to get through the hard times

One of the things I've been focusing on is building my puzzle business. I love making these word lists so much because I always learn something and to me, learning is living.

I finished my puzzle book for homesteaders and got it through Amazon's vetting process last week. I think my prepper friends will LOVE this one. It's got puzzles such as Root Cellars, Gardening Methods, Homestead Poultry, and Soapmaking and so many more. It was a lot of fun to make.

You can get it here.

As always, if you buy my books please, please if you think I've earned it, leave me a five-star review. This helps my books to be seen by other folks by moving me up the rankings. You can find all of the American Dreamer puzzle books here.