-New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu on his hopes for the future, I guess.

Republicans are scrambling to survive the political shitstorm unleashed by the Alabama Supreme Court's decision to give embryos the same legal status as children.  

• The court’s judgment, handed down Wednesday, comes with sweeping legal and practical implications for family planning, reproductive health care, science itself and the health and wellbeing of parents and potential parents. The decision follows a lawsuit brought by three couples whose frozen embryos were accidentally destroyed at a fertility clinic. At least three fertility clinics have now paused their in vitro fertilization (IVF) practices over concerns of “legal risk.” 

• The ruling marks a new phase in America’s struggle over reproductive rights. Republicans ducked for cover, while trying to avoid accountability for the kind of outcomes that the right has been pursuing for years. Some distanced themselves from the decision, like Governor Brian Kemp (R-GA), who told a Politico governors’ summit: “A lot of people wouldn’t have children if it wasn’t for [IVF].” Others waffled, like GOP presidential dead-ender Nikki Haley, who, incidentally, conceived her son via artificial insemination. At first she said: “Embryos, to me, are babies.” She then sought to deny that she supported the Alabama decision, conceding that fertility is a “sensitive” issue that should be decided by a person and their doctor. Remember, on this issue, Haley is considered a moderate.
   

• Any degree of legal acceptance of ‘fetal personhood,’ the keystone of the Alabama decision, represents a crucial victory for the anti-choice movement as it slouches toward its ultimate goal: a national abortion ban. That outcome is starting to seem eerily possible pending the November election. Disgraced Former President Donald Trump has reportedly signaled that, if re-elected, he would sign a federal ban on abortion after 16 weeks.

Some fundamentalist Christians and other anti-abortion hardliners may be onboard with banning IVF and all abortions-without-exception. But for the vast majority of American voters, these policies are wildly unpopular. 
 

• A December survey of 1000 voters conducted by liberal stalwart KellyAnn Conway’s firm found that 85 percent support increasing access to fertility treatments, including 78 percent of anti-abortion advocates (H/T POLITICO). Gallup reports that only 26 percent of voters feel comfortable with abortion laws as they stand, and an anemic 15 percent want stricter abortion policies. With one in six Americans using fertility treatments, these are not—how can we say this—winning numbers for the GOP. How much it will all matter down-ballot, however, remains to be seen.  
   

• Some, of course, see the decision as a call to action. “The Alabama Supreme Court offered that the legislature would be the place to address this,” Dana Sussman, the deputy executive director for Pregnancy Justice, told Crooked’s What A Day pod. “I think that if enough people are upset, are disillusioned, are worried in the state, then pressure on the lawmakers to pass a law protecting IVF will be the next step.” 

Unfortunately, you can expect to see more proposed legislation and legal disputes over the theory of fetal personhood. And, not to be your personal Cassandra, but…next on the anti-abortion agenda will likely be birth control! Clutch your pills and IUDs, folks.

It’s all hands on deck this election year – we’re even putting kids to work! - in a fun way. With merch. Pick up brand new “I Can’t Vote But You Can” onesies and toddler tees for all the kids in your life. There’s no better reminder of what’s at stake than a baby who might not be able to vote when they turn 18 because our country elected a lunatic obsessed with ketchup and fascism. Shop all Crooked kids’ merch, including Read Me A Banned Book and Bros For Roe onesies by heading to Crooked.com/store to shop.

A mosque was razed and several homes destroyed in the southern Gazan city of Rafah under heavy bombings carried out by Israeli forces on Thursday. At least 97 people were killed and 130 wounded in the attacks, according to Gaza health authorities. Rafah, where hundreds of thousands of Palestinians have gathered seeking refuge, is still bracing for a potential full-blown assault by Israeli forces. On Thursday, Israeli media reported that Israel plans to send negotiators to Paris for truce talks that many in Gaza hope will forestall an assault on the city.
 

The civilian casualties in this war have already been astronomical. More than 29,000 people are dead and 69,000 have been wounded, according to Gaza health authorities.  Roughly 85,000 more Palestinians could die within the next six months if the fighting escalates amid outbreaks of disease, according to a new estimate by the group Gaza Projections, a collaboration between London School of Hygiene and Medicine and Johns Hopkins University. The group said that 6,000 more Palestinians could die even if the fighting stops today, given the devastation wrought to the country’s health and sanitation infrastructure. It’s no wonder that this week the Director General of the World Health Program called Gaza “a death zone.”

The first American moon landing in more than 50 years happened at 5:23 PM Central Time. Intuitive Machine’s Odyssesus Lander’s dramatic descent overcame last-minute glitches to stage the first-ever lunar touch-down by a private company. It’s only a matter of time before the colony construction begins and the Billionaires leave for good. Bye, guys! 
 

President Biden met with the widow and daughter of deceased Russian dissident Alexei Navalny Thursday. Navalny’s mother said the Kremlin is urging her to hold her son’s funeral in secret. 
 

A Texas judge ruled that a high school in Mont Belvieu, TX, did not violate state law when it gave an 18-year-old Black man in-school suspension for wearing long dreadlocks. 
 

Lara Trump, the daughter-in-law of ex-president Trump and his choice to run the Republican National Committee, said the RNC needs to raise $500 million for Trump’s campaign and might use it to defray Trump’s insane legal fees. Get that bag, girl, because New York’s Attorney General said she takes cash and property, honey.  
 

A federal judge ruled that right-wing pillow lunatic Mike Lindell must pay $5 million dollars to a software developer who won the “Prove Mike Wrong” challenge. Robert Zeidman demonstrated that the 2020 election was legit, and when Lindell tried to reneg, Zeidman took him to court. An American Hero! 

A total of 42,729 Americans died due to distracted driving in 2022, and 7,508 were pedestrians, according to a new report. The number of deaths by distracted driving surged since the pandemic, and are likely much higher—it’s just that distracted driving is hard to prove. Phone down, head up, folks.

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Dunkin Donuts promised that its new energy drink will have only about as much caffeine as a large cold brew. We’re looking at you, Panera Bread.