As well-meaning but, let’s face it, annoying people like to say, teamwork makes the dream work But, actually it’s true — assuming the dream is to be part of a healthy, productive relationship. At work, for example, 91 percent of employees confirmed that feeling valued as part of a team caused them to do their daily best. In the NBA, teammates who engage in outward displays of trust and cooperation (high-fives, butt-pats, helping each other up, etc.) have a higher win percentage than those who don’t. And in marriage, couples who start their relationship working as a team tend to cross the finish line together much more frequently than those who just passively mosey along.

Human beings are social by nature, so our need to be part of a team goes back to the days of cuddling with that special neanderthal under a mammoth pelt beside a roaring cave fire. That’s why, when a relationship is struggling, we have trouble communicating and cooperating. The problem, however, is that it’s easy to think you’re acting as a team when you’re actually not. So what does good teamwork look like? Here are some signs to remember.