Your child brings home a good grade on a reading or math assignment. You’re understandably proud and want to acknowledge this achievement and encourage their hard work. What do you say? The words are probably out of your mouth before you’ve thought about it: “Wow! You’re so smart!” Your intent is great. But the words might need some changing.

Parents influence whether or not their children develop what psychologists call a “growth mindset” — a belief that intelligence can be developed over time. Children with this mindset are more likely to take on challenges, bounce back from failure, and believe they can improve with hard work. Helping them build it is key. This is how you do it.